Goodbye 2010

It's been another great year for my family and me:

• Bryan and I turned 30!


• Anna turned 2 - and has grown and changed so quickly.


• We welcomed 2 nephews: Drew and Brady.


• I started my 5th year of teaching - yes!!! I now have tenure at a job I love.


• We enjoyed a vacation with my dad and family in Michigan.


• We bought a new car - thankful for the extra space and the 4 wheel drive.


• We saw our friends get married in the Bahamas.


• We became super tech-savy with our iPad and iPhones.


• We enjoyed fun trips to the Cincinnati Zoo and Kings Island.

I'm very thankful for all our blessings. We are healthy and happy, and always finding fun things to do. I'm looking forward to what 2011 brings!

I'm thankful for:

• a really wonderful family
• my new iPhone
• Anna has officially started successfully potty training this morning
• a fun morning playing with new Christmas presents
• getting caught up on sleep
• a new year and new adventures

Top 10 Books of 2010

My favorite books that I read in 2010:

10. 20s Girl - Sophie Kinsella
9. South of Broad - Pat Conroy
8. Crooked Letter, Crooked Letter - Tom Franklin
7. Girls' Poker Night - Jill A. Davis
6. Plain Truth - Jodi Picoult
5. Salem Falls - Jodi Picoult
4. The Bride Quartet (Vision in White, Bed of Roses, Savor the Moment, and Happy Ever After) - Nora Roberts
3. Room - Emma Donoghue
2. Fortune's Rocks - Anita Shreve
1. The Help - Kathryn Stockett

I am thankful for:

• a trip to the library
• a clean house
• sleeping in

Spirited - revisited

Last year my mom gave me a book, Raising Your Spirited Child: A Guide For Parents Whose Child is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, and Energetic, and when I read the first few chapters last year, I wasn't convinced Anna was Spirited - I thought just Spunky. Well, I revisited the book this week, and am now convinced that Anna is a Spirited Child. She's normal, but like the title says, MORE. I've always wanted Anna to be who she is, the person she was put on this Earth to be; I just want to be able to handle her better.

This book is really helping me. It's helping me to see that Anna's not the only child that does these things that drive me crazy and then leave me thinking what is wrong with her? or what is wrong with me? There's nothing wrong with either of us. Anna may not be the calm collected child that makes easy transitions and accepts the word "NO", and that doesn't make her bad. She is a remarkable child with her own set of gifts that help her be energetic, sure of herself, intelligent, and perseverant.

One valuable lesson so far: understand her warning signs that show it's all too much and she's about to blow, then get her to a calming activity (running hands through water, bubbles, back rub, bath, time alone, dry beans in a bowl) before we all lose it. Eventually she will have to identify those feeling when she's having them so she can calm herself down before moving on. I also need to stay attuned to my warning signs that I'm about to lose it so I can get to a calm place, if only for a few minutes.

I also learned about introverted and extroverted children (people). Anna is an extrovert: she needs to talk to and be around other people to reenergize herself. That's why she talks so much and needs to be right in my space when we are home - she's reenergizing. It's a simple concept, but it taught me a lot. Bryan is an introvert (and also spirited); he reenergizes by being by himself - he has to think about things that happened for a while before he's ready to talk about it.

I feel good about this book. I feel better about my parenting skills. I feel great about my child.

Today I am thankful for:

• a fun snow day with Anna
• the book
• it's not going to snow tomorrow

My Pants are Too Tight

I haven't been thrilled with my body over the past year or so. I don't know what happened. I don't think I started eating more or anything, but BAM! there it was - 8 lbs. that decided to make themselves at home on my stomach, butt, and thighs (notice, my lbs. never make it to my boobs!). And yes, I just wrote boobs on my blog :) So, I've been trying to get around the exercise with dietary changes or do a little exercise here and a little there, but I have to face it - regular exercise is the only way these 8 lbs. are going to leave me. Now, what kind of exercise? I guess my video since it's the only thing I can manage time and effort wise. Here's to me and my latest push to have a happy and healthy body!

Today I am thankful for:

• a fun day at home with Anna
• 2 hr. delay tomorrow
• Nora Roberts' Bride Quartet - seriously so fun to read

Weekend Wrap-Up

What I didn't do this weekend:

• ride in the car 5 hours each way to and from New Riegel, Ohio
• go to our friends' wedding
• hang out with out-of-town friends
• wear my super cute dress and high heeled shoes
• go to the Festival of Lights at the Cincinnati Zoo
• play in the snow

What I did do:

• got some Christmas shopping done
• got caught up on Glee
• lounged around
• played with Anna
• cleaned the house
• took a the personal day I had planned and had a date day with Bryan: a little shopping, lunch at The Pub, and saw Due Date (which I highly recommend - so, so, so funny)

While I'm sad I didn't get to see our friends get married and hang out with out-of-town friends, I'm glad we didn't make the long trip. We were just there for Thanksgiving, and the trip can be a little much in so short a time. Bryan was sick with sinus/cold stuff on Friday, so it wasn't going to be a good idea to make the trip. I guess I'll have to find somewhere else to wear my raspberry high heals!

Today I am thankful for:

• watching Anna use her imagination to make and eat cake in her kitchen
• Secret Santa week at school - it's so fun to give and receive fun gifts
• a relaxing weekend
• hearing Anna sing "Santa Claus is Coming to Town"

Life is funny that way...

I called my sister today to wish her luck on her surgery tomorrow. She is getting a bad stomach-area hernia fixed and her tubes tied. She is of course worried and scared - normal for any mother, I think. But the funny thing is that she's sad about getting her tubes tied. Why funny you ask? Well, if 10 years ago you would have told me that my sister would be the motherly, I want to stay home with my kids, I want a house full of kids kind of person I would have laughed in your face. I never pictured her as the super-motherly type, and she didn't either. She's only getting her tubes tied because having another baby could be very dangerous because of her problems during delivery. What adds to the irony is that I would be just fine with Anna (although I do want to have another baby), and I don't want to stay home; I wouldn't have imagined that it would be like that.

I always wanted to be a mommy; in fact, it's the only thing I did know I wanted to be when I got older. I feel blessed many times over with Anna - her smile, her laugh, her jokes, her speech, her hugs and kisses, her curiosity, her love of life. I also feel confused, stressed, frustrated, and stuck at times. People told me motherhood is tough, but it's one of those things you don't get until you're in the muck of it trying to keep it all together, trying to stay sane when the only thing you really want to do is scream and run away. It's no surprise to you that the toddler years have been very trying for me. There are moments when I wonder if I've done anything right, when I wonder if I can handle one more whining screaming tantrum, when I wonder why she can't just follow my directions so she stays safe. I either cry or get over it or maybe stew about it for awhile. Then she does something really special, something really great, something without giving me a bunch of shit first, and I think: I can do this, it's working, Bryan and I are great parents, we have an awesome kid. My faith is restored, everything will work out. We can totally handle another kid (someday)!

Parenthood is a roller coaster, and one I'm happy to ride on. Even when life turns out to be different than I expected, it's all good.

Prayers for Jen, please!

Today I am thankful for:

1. a goodnight sleep last night
2. my new Pampered Chef Biscuit cutters! I use this recipe for buttermilk biscuits (halved).
3. a supportive husband

GP

Whenever I get a card from my grandparents it is signed "Grandma and GP." Yes, GP even though I call him Grandpa. On this Veteran's Day I would like to take some time to celebrate the only veteran in my family, my GP.

Here are some things that make him great:

• He loves chocolate candy and spice drops.
• He drinks a martini every night at 5:00 - it's really just gin on the rocks with 2 huge olives.
• He taught me funny things - like how to spell Mississippi in a way that makes no sense to anyone, but it's fun to say.
• He has the neatest capital printing of anyone I know.
• He knows Morse Code and taught it to my 5th grade class. He even gave us a code sheet with a secret clue at the bottom - something about our school if I recollect.
• He was in the air force in WWII. He was in charge of the Morse Code on the airplanes. He was stationed in the South Pacific.
• He used to make me a delicious breakfast of scrambled eggs, toast with butter, and The Best Chocolate Milk ever (it was very cold and very chocolaty, mmmmm).
• His favorite meal is spaghetti with meatballs.
• He quit smoking and lost a ton of weight in the 80s after heart problems - an inspiration to anyone with health problems that can be reduced with discipline and hard work.
• He had a tough childhood (from what my mom figures), but still managed to be a loving, caring, and patient man.
• He can fold shirts so they are flat, thin, and perfect.
• He knows how many paces are in one of his walking miles.
• He's a history buff.
• He reads the end of books first to see if they are worth reading.
• He and my grandma have been married for over 50 years!
• He loves my cousins and me .

I wish he wasn't getting older. I wish I didn't have to watch him not be able to do the things he used to do with such ease. I wish I could still have coherent conversations with him. I guess it's just the way life goes, so I feel blessed that I got to spend so much quality time with a great man.

Happy Veteran's Day, GP!

Today I am thankful for:

1. beautiful, warm, sunny days this week
2. the people in our armed forces that protect our freedoms everyday
3. Barbie Toothbrush that makes brushing fun - for Anna and me :)
   

YIKES!

I know Halloween is over, but I had quiet a scare yesterday morning...
I was in Anna's bathroom calling for her to come in and have her hair done, and what do I see out of the corner of my eye?????? A MOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I screamed - very loudly, and ran out of the bathroom, still screaming. Anna had this "what the hell" look on her face. She obviously didn't see the little varmint come out of her linen closet and come after me.

So, my hero (aka Bryan) set 3 traps - the snap kind with peanut butter, not cheese. Country boys know everything. But here's the even worse part - he went out of town for work later that day, so I had to come back to the mouse house with just Anna. I'm not gonna lie - I was mostly scared and grossed out (I actually felt my chest tightening during the school day when I thought about it). So anyway, I did a quick peak at the traps and two of the traps had dead little mice. Good: dead mice. Bad: more than one, means still more. I moved the empty trap to Anna's bathroom and stuffed the bottoms of the doors with towels, and no, I did not remove the dead mice. I left those there for Bryan's return, because like I said, mice are gross. I actually went to sleep because Bryan assured me that mice like food and water, neither of which I had in my bed or Anna's bed. I still dreamed about those little rodents, but I'm pretty sure they left Anna and me alone. Aren't you proud of me for sleeping in my mouse house without Bryan to protect me? I sure am, but that doesn't mean I want to do it again. Anyway, he did his good husbandly duties today and cleaned everything up when he got home (including the 3rd dead mouse in the trap I moved), and reset the traps in case there are still some hiding out.

The reasons why I hate mice:

1. they are uninvited guests
2. they pee and poop on your stuff
3. they eat anything and ruin your stuff
4. they might touch you
5. they can smush their bodies and fit through small spaces
6. I see no real purpose other than grossing people out
7. they have tails (I have a tail issue. Maybe someday I'll tell you about the panic attack I had when I was in the education room at the Louisville Zoo, and the zoo person wanted me to look at and touch an opossum. OMG it still makes me ill.)
8. they are like little thieves - getting in your house and ruining your stuff. I know I already said that in #1 and #3, but I really hate mice.

Today I am thankful for:

• Carol offering for Anna and me to sleep at her house
• Bryan coming home and cleaning up dead mice and their droppings (see #2)
• not being a single mom that has to deal with mice all by myself
• funny students

PS: I know I was supposed to post Halloween pictures, but the blog doesn't like to upload my pictures. I might try again later.

PPS: Have you seen Annie's Eats? That nut is at it again - her Thanksgiving plans. No one even likes brussel sprouts.

Trick-or-Treat, Smell My Feet...

We had a super fun Halloween this year! Anna was a glitter witch; she looked so cute in her witch/fairy costume with her pink pants and black boots as well as a pink and black striped hat. She got the hang of Trick-or-Treat very quickly - we marched right along while she went to the houses to get her candy. She did a great job of using her "please" and "thank you" manners. It was really fun to see her have so much fun, and she looked so grown-up doing it.

My mom handed out candy at our house while we walked around the neighborhood. Anna helped her when we got back. She wanted so badly to give all the kids candy - it was really cute to see her get into the giving as much as the getting. I complain too much about the trouble she gives me, and it's those little moments when I see how great of a kid she really is.

The neighbors across the street put on their spooky show again. They dress up in the full gear and chase kids to scare them. It's pretty great to watch. Anna isn't scared of anything that we've seen, and even when we went to their house she was very interested and held onto my leg for just a minute - but no crying, no screaming, no running away - just watching and taking it all in. She's funny like that. So many kids are afraid of Halloween decorations, but she just goes right up to them to touch and check out and smile. One thing I know, Anna loves fun.

We had so much fun tonight; I wish Halloween was more than once a year. I wonder what she'll be next year...

(Pictures later - after my camera battery charges)

Today I'm thankful for:

• a good girl
• My mom coming to visit
• a really fun Halloween night
• Skittles, Starburst, and Reese's Pieces

iBooks

After Bryan won money gambling with my dad and brother on vacation, he came home and bought an iPad. It's a fun little gadget to have. One of my favorite apps: iBooks. It's a place to search and buy books - books I might have found anyway and books that might have never made it my way. Every so often I go looking for something new to read, and the thing I love about iBooks is that it gives me a sample of any book I might be interested in. Well I know the apple people give me these nasty little samples that end right at the moment I'm hooked so I will push my willpower aside and click BUY, but they won't get me (at least they haven't yet). I like to spend money, but I like to save money too, so after finding some books I like I head to the Lexington Public Library site and put the books on hold. So, there we wait, my willpower and me, on that happy email that says I have books on hold! The last book in Nora Roberts' Bride Quartet comes out in November - oh willpower, will you stay strong???

Well, on to tonight's book: The Food Matters Cook Book (by Mark Bittman). If you've seen Food Inc (very interesting documentary about the food business in the US) you've seen Mark Bittman. His deal: eat more fruits, veggies, whole grains, and beans while cutting back on the meat, seafood, chicken, sugar, white flour, and junk food. I can subscribe to his thinking and already am on my way there, but can do much better. Anyway, this book has a few recipes (but of course, I would actually have to PAY to see them all) that I'm willing to try to put more veggies and natural foods into my diet - not just for weight loss, but for overall body health. Maybe I'll ask for it for Christmas? No, that's a lame gift to buy someone. I guess I'm going to use one of my Joseph-Beth gift cards that I've been hording away for a special occasion. I'll be sure to post the good recipes.

Other Books I'm interested in that you might like too:

• Room (Emma Conoghue)
• Crooked Letter, Crooked Letter (Tom Franklin)
• A Reliable Wife (Robert Goolrick)
• Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk (David Sedaris) - have you read any David Sedaris? It's laugh-out-loud funny stuff. He's a must read author.
• Talking to Girls About Duran Duran (Rob Sheffield) - it's about the 80s, need I say more?
• The Man Who Lied to His Laptop (Clifford Nass)

I hope to read all of these books eventually, we'll see.

Today I am thankful for:

• not having a tornado come through town while at work, or anytime really
• not having meetings after work today
• talking to my mom and dad today

2.5

Anna and Jackson at the Cincinnati Zoo enjoying their suckers.

My baby is 2 and a half! She's like a real little person, not a baby at all (although she might act like one from time to time). I thought we were moving on from the Terrible Twos, but it seems like we're right back in the thick of it, and yes, I'm going a little crazy. More on that later, cuz this is all about Anna...


Things she loves:

• Mommy, Daddy, and all other family members


• pink baby - a baby better than all others, and dirtier


• having books read to her


• "reading" books to us


• chips and salsa


• singing Happy Birthday


• The Wiggles


• dancing, running, jumping...any kind of movement


• playing "catch me"


• helping


• Belle (Beauty and The Beast) - she knows her from a book, not the movie


• presents


• mints


• her school friends
• talking on the phone


• being outside


• the park, zoo, and any other place to run around and explore


• babies - real ones


• freedom and independence


• whining


• junk food (except ice cream)

Things she doesn't love so much:

• not getting her way


• loosing privileges


• riding in a stroller (except for neighborhood walks)

What amazes me:

• she knows about half of her letters by name, and can give a name or word that begins with that letter


• she speaking in sentences - she has trouble from time to time, but her speech continues to improve


• she can count to 15 - usually with several numbers missing, but it's a start
• shapes- heart, star, oval, circle
• colors - pink and yellow

I might get frustrated with Anna, but I can always go back to the fact that I have an amazing daughter. She's curious, strong-willed, independent, smart, beautiful, friendly, so full of life, and a true blessing in my life. Today I'm thankful for Anna and for getting to be her mom.

Not Broken and Farm Fun!

I'm so happy to update you to let you know the washing machine is NOT BROKEN!!!! The possibilities are that it had a clogged pump or just was over heated. Really, it doesn't matter what it was because it works again.

Last week we got an email from a counselor at another school mentioning a Pioneer Day at her farm. We didn't have anything else going on, so I figured Anna and I could check it out. We had to drive out to the middle of nowhere, but once we made it we had a great time. The family lives at the farm and works there (sheep farm). In the past year they opened their farm up for agritourism and have invited people to come for different learning experiences. Anna and I were the only people there at first, so she had a great time petting and feeding the rabbits and meeting the chickens, donkey, pig, and geese. Anna also met a friend, the boy that lives at the farm. He was a sixth grader and so nice. He held Anna's hand and humored her in her adventures. She enjoyed running around and being around the animals. I was a little worried a few times because they had a lot of junk laying around, and Anna can be easily attracted to danger. She fell down a lot and got a little too close to things that she could hurt herself on, but it was ok. I guess I would go back again since she loved the animals and had such a great time running around outside, but I hope they can clean their crap up a little better.

Today I am thankful for:

• a working washing machine
• beautiful, warm, sunny days
• a relaxing and fun Fall Break

Oops!

On a typical day I am not careless or an idiot, but unfortunately, today I was both.

Now that my fall break has begun I thought that I would be productive and clean the house today. I got the bright idea to mop the floors in the bathroom, which means I thought to also wash the rugs. I never mop the floors; I hate mopping, that's why it's Bryan's job, usually. I should have remembered that. I put 2 of the rugs in the washing machine with a few other towels and things. When I went in to put the things in the dryer I smelled something - kind of like a burning smell. The rugs and things still had a lot of soap on them, so I ran the washing machine again from the rinse cycle - without the larger of the 2 rugs. Everything worked out ok -nothing was on fire, and the washing machine worked until I tried to put the larger rug in the machine at the rinse cycle to get the soap out and all I got was washer partly full of water and a really wet rug.

That means - I did it! I broke the washing machine (probably the motor). While that might not seem horrible, things break, it actually is because that's not the first washer I broke with the bathroom rugs!!! Here's the careless and idiot part: At our old house with a different washer, I did the same exact thing! I thought I would be able to wash the rugs with this washer because I've done it before. I guess my luck has run out. I texted Bryan to let him know (because I am a coward); I didn't want to tell him over the phone, texting is way easier. He still loves me, it's ok. My mom suggested that I take them to the laundromat next time, "it's only an hour and a half of your life you won't get back." When do I have an hour and a half to sit around (well, probably tomorrow, but that's beside the point).

I've learned my lesson the very hard and expensive way...do not put big rugs in the washing machine that you own. Now that we will probably have to buy a new washer, I might not get that nice camera I've been wanting. On the other hand, now we can get a front-loader!

Today I am thankful for:

• fall break to relax (and break expensive equipment :))
• a cinnamon crunch bagel from Panera
• money in the bank to buy a new washer

A Little Bit of This and A Little Bit of That

With the cold fall weather rolling in I felt the need to make some cold weather food. I have cold weather food and hot weather food, and the hot weather food doesn't taste good in cold weather and visa versa. So I made this Chicken Chili from Annie's Eats except I made it easy instead of slaving over the oven and the stove all afternoon - I put everything in the crockpot and just let it cook. I also cut the recipe in half. In the future I would not use all the juice from the canned tomatoes. I even added a small can of tomato paste and it was still a little soupy. It's worth trying though - the spices were perfect: just spicy enough without making my mouth on fire.

I also made the Pumpkin Butterscotch Cookies for our bake sale at school. They have no butter in them - just oil, totally weird. They had a really good flavor, but they were very cakey. I would make them again for a fall treat. I think I'm going to try these Pumpkin Pie Bars for Thanksgiving this year. I guess I might make pies too if needed.

On another note...Anna:
She had her 2 and a half year checkup today. All is well. She actually sat on a chair and waited for the doctor to come in, got on the the big scale with only a little convincing, and entertained the waiting area. She is meeting all the milestones (jumps, names/points to body parts, can take on and off some clothing, says animal sounds). The only one I'm not sure of - other people can understand 50% of what she says. I don't know - I still don't always understand what she says. I think she knows a lot more than she is able to verbalize, but I think that's normal. She also told me Anna's motor skills are advanced (because she was hanging on the edge of the desk and swinging back and forth and jumping and climbing everywhere). It's things like that that make me wonder if she is really my kid. Really...advanced motor skills? I'm a total weakling, and I am too scared to try anything where I could hurt myself.

I've hit my limit with her coming into our bed during the middle of the night. It all started so innocently. My sweet girl who was sleeping through the night at 2 and a half months started having sleep trouble at around 15 months (that was when life really turned upside down for us). She would get her legs stuck in the bars or would try to climb out of the crib and get stuck on top of the railings, so of course I would have to go in and help her. Well, over time it has changed and escalated to weeks of time when she will wake up at night screaming for me. Since I need my sleep the easiest thing to do is bring her into our bed rather than get into a fight over why she should sleep in her own bed. It's time for that to stop, but I can't cut her off cold turkey. So we are working on a reward system. If she stays the whole night in her "girl bed" then she earns a present in the morning. I bought a bunch of dollar bin stuff at Target over the weekend for prizes. The past few nights when she is screaming for me, I go in, comfort her for a second and remind her that to earn a present she has to sleep in her bed. Guess what? She lays right back down and goes to sleep - I'm a total sucker. I didn't think she understood, but obviously she does because when a treat is involved she has no problem sleeping in her own bed! Kids.

After a week or so I'm going to have to figure out how to get her to go back to sleep on her own without the screaming and drama. Then she'll get presents for that :) A few ideas: put the ipod in her room with quiet music all night, a night light, and just turning the damn monitor off.

Also the dog pooped all over the house, and now Bryan is thinking of ways to get rid of her. And, my kids were wacky today. One boy fell out of his chair 3 times during a half hour guidance lesson and 3 times walking down the hallway. What is going on?

Today I'm thankful for:

• a good doctor check-up
• tomorrow is the last work day this week with kids
• reading with Anna

Sweet Changes

Last night something happened that hasn't happened since Anna left the baby stage and started walking...she sat on the couch between Bryan and me and hung out - for like 15 minutes!!!!!!!

This is a big moment for us. Remember I have the one kid on the planet that won't watch TV (except The Wiggles - and that's a dancing show, not a sitting show). I think she's much too busy for TV (It's really ok because I don't want her addicted to TV, but maybe a half hour here or there would be helpful from time to time?). So, no cuddling on the couch to watch Beauty and the Beast for us. Anna likes to be doing: cooking, helping, dancing, reading, coloring, playing, swinging, the list goes on, all except sitting and relaxing. So imagine how calm and comforting it made me feel when my sweet girl wanted to hang out with Mommy and Daddy to watch a little TV and relax before bed. I don't want to get ahead of myself, but could this be a new side to a growing-up Anna? I love her spunk, but I also love to cuddle. Will I get a little more cuddle time in the future? I hope so.

Today I am thankful for:

1. a successful trip to the mall with Anna

2. great weather - perfect temp and sunny skies can't be beat

3. a super sweet class - I don't want them to leave me

4. validation as a teacher and mother

I do like...

In order to maintain or strive for the all important BALANCE, I will now list the the things I do like... (in no particular order)

1. my family


2. teaching


3. Anna's laugh
4. When Anna says "love you too, mommy." Seriously one of the best things I've ever heard.


5. sweets


6. meeting up with old friends


7. reading


8. the beach


9. naps


10. relaxing


11. art


12. museums


13. eating out


14. coloring


15. baking


16. Target


17. shoe shopping


18. buying stuff


19. Christmas


20. my birthday (even though I'm getting old)


21. warm weather


22. OSU football


23. fall weather before I have to wear a winter coat


24. pictures


25. Pazzo's Pizza and pretzels


26. Glee


27. NYC


28. comfy beds


29. soft blankets
    
30. fruit
31. wedding dresses. I loved my dress, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to go try on dresses just for fun. I don't but I want to.
32. thinking of baby names and changing my mind
33. taking walks with Bryan, Anna, and Shelby (the dog)
34. sleeping in
35. blogs - reading and writing
36. learning new things
37. spending time outside
38. movies
39. the 80s
40. listening to Anna talk
41. laughing
42. compliments
43. Twilight books and movies
44. board games
45. being a wife
46. being a mommy

That's all I can think of on this Monday night. I'm sure there are more. The important thing is that there are a lot more "I likes" than "I don't likes." Life is good.

I'm thankful for all of the above.

I do not like...

A few things I don't like:

1. waking up early - sleeping in is always better
2. mushrooms - what can I say, they are gross
3. mac and cheese - I don't like the noodles and I don't like the cheese...never have, never will.
4. fighting - I'm not so good at it and my blood pressure rises
5. looking old - I got my school picture back on Friday, and I look old or tired or maybe old and tired. I don't know when this happened to me. I used to feel pretty, and still do on some days, but I can't say I love what I look like at 30. Maybe it's not 30, maybe it's being a mother. I like to look at my wedding pictures - I look pretty at 26. What's going to happen to me if I have another baby - older and uglier???? Please, no.
6. winter - loving these sunny warm days
7. dizzy spells - scary, horrible, wish they would go away forever
8. whining - my baby's, not my own :)
9. cleaning - enough said
10. my bad posture - bad bad habit of slouching. I'm trying to be present in that and correct myself when I notice.

I am thankful for:

• a beautiful weekend
• giggling with Anna
• sleeping in this morning

I have a problem.

My problem is: when ever something goes a little wrong or almost wrong, my brain goes to negative-ville and thinks of The Worst Possible Scenario - even though it's over and The Worst didn't happen. I can't help it. Bryan even points it out to me, "you're thinking of the absolute worst possible outcome, and it probably won't be that bad." I think I do this because I'm an overly cautious person, I don't like to get in trouble, and I don't want bad-preventable things to happen.

Well, do you ever have those moments when you realize your life could have changed in an instant? But Thank God, it didn't. I had one of those the other day... It was a nice day, so we had the windows open. I was making lunches in the kitchen. Anna was hanging out - just walking around holding onto some kind of toy or something; I wasn't paying very close attention to her. Until I see her climbing out of the window sill!!!!!! Our kitchen windows are on the second floor in the back of the house because of the walk-out basement, and she had climbed up to sit on the window sill with only a screen to hold her in. OMG even typing this makes me a nervous wreck - heart palpitations, crazy thoughts, negative-ville. I Thank God that window screen held her, and she didn't fall to the ground below. As an old co-worker once said, "you don't know scary until you are a parent."

We aren't opening the windows anymore until we have some window braces up that will actually keep a person from falling out of an open window (Amazon sells them). It's funny, several weeks ago I saw a house in the neighborhood with those window braces in all their upstairs windows, and I thought to myself, "we don't have to have those." Silly Laura, of course you do. We just didn't need them at that moment.

Today I'm thankful for:

• a new Pink Baby - yay Target
• a Girls' Night Out with Anna - Chik fil A, Graeters, and the park - all fun
• a warning before it was too late

Pink Baby

This is Pink Baby.

At some point Anna got 2 of these babies; one is pink and the other is white with little baby things on it. They are sold at any store that sells toys (at least that I've seen). It has a plastic head, arms, and legs with a soft stuffing filled body. Anna has developed an attachment to these babies, but Pink Baby more so than White Baby - I have no idea why. It could be the road rash Pink Baby has from being dropped then ran over with the stroller on our nightly walks. It could be the little pills all over her body. It could be the smelly dirty pink outfit she USED to have. I guess it's the same as when kids have a blankie or a pacie - it's her comfort. She bends the baby's body over her hand, holds her head down with the other hand, and sucks on the baby's body. We assume it's a self soothing thing that went from bed time to anytime. She wants baby, Pink Baby, when she's tired, sad, had a tantrum, or just needs a little comfort.

Well, I just couldn't stand the look of Pink Baby's dirty clothes anymore; she was so dirty and gross. Her tag says - spot clean only. Well...I decided to go for it and wash her in the washing machine anyway. We had White Baby to take the place of Pink Baby while she was "getting a bath." I was really impressed with how OK Anna was with us washing Pink Baby. We did have to keep going to the washer to show her Pink Baby and let her hug and kiss Pink Baby, but no tantrums or fits!

I know why it is not suggested to put Pink Baby in the washing machine - she holds the water and sloshes quite a bit. We wrung her out and let her dry in the sun, but there is still water hanging out inside Pink Baby. I'm going to have to look for a new Pink Baby because I'm scared of her becoming moldy. I think it will be OK since she didn't get mad about Pink Baby losing her smell or whatever was making her so desirable. She's sleeping with White Baby tonight with only a little convincing that Pink Baby is wet and cannot sleep in bed tonight.

Today I'm thankful for:

• a calm weekend
• windows are open again
• Anna will be ok if I have to replace Pink Baby
• I got a nap this morning after Anna decided to wake up at 6:30 for the 2nd day in a row.
• Pink Baby being sold at 4 stores within a 5 minute drive
  

A Trip to the Apple Orchard

We didn't have much going on this weekend and the weather is much cooler, so we decided to take a trip to Evans Orchard for some apples (we'll go to Boyds for a pumpkin in October). The other reason we thought it would be a good idea is because Bryan likes to eat an apple for lunch everyday, and the apples at the grocery store are getting gross.

We figured our way through the apple orchard for the apples that were both ripe and the type we like. Anna didn't want to ride in the wagon, so that answered my question as to if I should buy a wagon for her - NO! Then we went to the play on the playground. She loved the slide though she was a little scared the first time by herself. We also enjoyed a donut and then headed home.

It was a great day at the orchard because it wasn't crowded at all. I know when we go in October for pumpkins it won't be that nice, so I'm glad we did it today. A new tradition for us!

Today I'm thankful for:

• fresh picked apples
• windows are open!
• a fun family day
  
  
  

Checking up on a few blogs...

I was checking on NieNie's blog - which I do now and again. I found her pictures beautiful and fascinating. Her oldest daughter looks so much like her. That's just one of the amazing things about having children - seeing yourself in them. Sometimes I think Anna looks like Bryan, and sometimes I think she looks like me. Most of the time she acts like Bryan. Some of the time she acts like me. Either way, she's a part of us. Kids are pretty amazing.

I was also loving NieNie's back to school dinner with crowns they made. I love their family theme, " To Learn with Joy." It's like my school theme, "Learn, have fun, and make friends." Anna's still a little young and we've already been in school for 4 weeks, but maybe next year she'll be ready to make a crown with the things she loves. NieNie always does cute and crafty things even though none of it can be easy for her. I try to remember her when I get boring or crabby or not-fun. It's much more fun to play with Anna since I'm back to work. Maybe that makes no sense to you, maybe it makes all the sense in the world. I'm more than only mommy. But when I'm mommy, I want to be a good one and a fun one and an engaged one.

Today I'm thankful for:

1. OSU football has started again
2. Rice Krispy Treats
3. funny kids at school
4. a good group of kids at school
5. Anna's laugh and sense of humor
6. Anna's singing - twinkle twinkle, row row your boat, I caught a baby bumble bee, wheels on the bus, and itsy bitsy spider
7. Anna's counting - just one and two, I guess she'll go on when she's ready
8. Anna's ABCs - out of order and barley understandable, but still super cute

several more things...

Just a few more things I've been thinking about recently:

• I've been talking to myself a lot lately. I must have a lot on my mind?


• Anna and her BFF, Kiley, are so stinkin' cute. They run to hug and kiss each other when Anna gets to day care in the morning and when she leaves. They really love each other. Anna calls her baby "Ki-Ki" after Kiley (or "baby").


• I don't know if I do all the right things when raising Anna, but I think I do a good job - despite comments that I'm too nice and I let her get away with too much. To the people that think I'm not doing things the right way, I would like to say: "See how you manage a 2 year old that is short on patience and has more will than she knows what to do with on a daily basis. Then let me know how you would change things." I try to let her be herself while also not getting hurt. I try to encourage her to make good choices and follow the directions with "if this, then that" statements. She responds better with more information than just a straight "no," which she doesn't really respond to at all. Bryan said he thinks we make too many concessions for her so we can get through stores with as little trouble as possible - maybe we'll just try taking her out of the store if she can't sit in the cart or stroller. I don't know if it will work, but I'm willing to try.


• I don't like grainy or mushy watermelon.


• Anna will only watch The Wiggles on TV. I just now noticed that the yellow Wiggle is sometimes Greg (original) and sometimes Sam (replacement). Google said Greg had a disease that made touring and performing difficult.
• I thought I was mad at Bryan this weekend because he watched an entire TV program while I couldn't even take a shower without several Anna interruptions. I realized later that I was actually annoyed with Anna bc I can't do anything without her interrupting. I have to be right with her at all times except in public when she has to do everything by herself. Go figure. I know when she's 13 I'll wish she wanted me to be with her.

A few things that I've noticed...

1. I really enjoy my time with Anna now that I'm back to work. She is SO cute. Now when I read a book five times in a row it's so much more refreshing than 30 times in a row. I'm feeling tired after work, but I know that will get better. Work and family balance is key for me.

2. I mentioned how we are working on super-praise and happy faces for Anna's good choices. It's still in full swing, and it's forcing me to be a whoo-hoo girl. I will be a whoo-hoo girl if it helps my girl.

3. We went to the Woodland Art Fair yesterday. It was hot; I was sweating. All the art I like is ridiculously expensive. $1300 for some art to hang somewhere in my house? I just can't do that. I don't have it in me. I had $30 in my wallet. I think all I could afford was a funnel cake.

4. The attention span of 6 year olds after the summer is very low. I am struggling to keep the kids focused. I know this gets better, but it's so easy to forget.

Today I am thankful for:

• a grocery store outing by myself = very uneventful and low stress
• Bryan and I teamed together to clean up Anna's playroom. It's so much better when we work together.
• Hearing Anna say, "two dogs!" when she sees two dogs. Seriously cute.

2 days in

So here are a 10 things that have happened in the first two days of school this year:

1. I have 21 students and want it to stay that way.
2. Lots of hugs from new and old students - it's good to be loved.
3. I forgot to remind the students to take their lunch boxes home today. I have approximately 8 lunch boxes on the shelf in my room. How many parent notes will I get?
4. The hyper-o-meter is way lower this year, and I am so thankful. Hyper's not my thing, but is it anyones?
5. I was told, "no, but thanks." I'm ok with it.
6. I've toughened up a bit, but still trying to make school a happy place for the little ones.
7. We've survived walks around the track and recess in this ridiculous heat.
8. I got an email telling me to expect a call or an email about a friend from last year that went to a new school.
9. A super shy student talked to me all the way around the track.
10. I got myself mostly ready for next week - a good start anyway.

Today I am thankful for:

• a calm classroom
• a good night sleep
• para-educators

A New School Year and a Few Recipes

After working all last week and a very long day today, I am finally ready for the school year to begin. My classroom is set up - a new arrangement that I'm liking very much, we had meet the parents/kids/teacher tonight - a great first meeting with almost everyone in attendance, and plans are ready and copies are made for days 1, 2, and 3.

I love the beginning of the school year. I like the clean room and new school supplies (Mine stayed nice ALL year. Bryan had a few crayon nubs after the first month). I like the anticipation of learning new things and meeting new friends. I like a fresh start to do better and be better than the year before. I can't wait to get to know the personalities to go along with those sweet faces - oh, how they change in a year.

Now for the recipes...
I had been boycotting Annie's Eats because her over-achieverness was irritating. I mean, did you see the birthday party she had for her son? I think all Anna got in terms of decorations were some balloons, Mylar, but still. I decided to forgive Little Miss Perfect for being able to do many things presumably well on very little to no sleep (I'm guessing) and check out some recipes again. I've tried several of her recipes and enjoyed all of them, so I'm back on the bandwagon. Just don't expect a themed birthday party from me unless I can buy all the stuff at Target - already made.

These are the recipes we tried and enjoyed:

• Chicken Parmesan
• Chicken nuggets - I just do the same prep for the chicken Parmesan without the sauce and cheese.
• Pizza Dough
• Cherry Tomato Salad
• Chicken Enchiladas

Maybe you'll like them too.

Today I am thankful for:

• team lunch at Saul Good
• changes at school that I'm looking forward to
• past students that came to say 'hi'
• new students with smiles on their faces
• copy moms
• air conditioning
• talking to Anna on the phone - seriously cute
• I don't have to make my lunch for tomorrow

Girl Bed

So last Friday Anna didn't want to take a nap. I went in to check on her after she had been screaming for me for a while. She then proceeded to climb on the top rail and flip completely over and onto the floor - landing on her back. It looked like it hurt. She cried for a few minutes, we cuddled, called daddy, and then she finally took a nap. I called my mom (nurse), and she told me to watch if she was walking funny or complaining of hurting. She did neither, so I assumed she was fine. But we decided to change her bed to a "big girl bed" aka "my girl bed."

Bryan took the front rail off and figured a way to attach the small rail to her crib. Gosh he's smart. I wasn't sure how this would go, but it's been a major success. The first couple times she did get out and open the door, but with the promise of a treat when she woke up, she finally stayed in bed. She's been doing great in her bed - I'm so proud of her.

I've also been working on my parenting. I needed a refresher. I wasn't happy with myself, so I got a bunch of books from the library and started reading The Kazdin Method for Parenting the Defiant Child: With No Pills, No Therapy, No Contest of Wills. That last part, No Contest of Wills, is what drew me to the book. It isn't anything new - hype up the positives and leave the screaming and spanking behind because they don't work. Bryan and I are making sure to jump up and down, clap, and sing Anna's praises every time she does something the first time we ask her to and when she gets her diaper and clothes changed without messing around and fighting us. I got a chart at the Dollar Store with the days of the week, and we give her a happy face when she makes us so proud. She beams. She glows. She is proud of herself and is repeating the good behavior over and over again. I'm feeling good about my parenting skills again. I feel much better about the way we are helping Anna make good choices.

Today I am thankful for:

• getting into a routine
• Anna staying in her girl bed
• a dinner from my childhood: bbq chicken and corn on the cob

Balance? I hope so.

It's that time - back to school. I've had 6 fun filled weeks as a stay at home mom. Anna and I have had our fair share of: tantrums (yes, both of us), days playing outside, trips to the park, trips to the zoo, endless games of hide-and-seek, coloring with markers, and play-doh play. I can't forget the hundreds of books we read or our family vacation - both good.

I value the extra time I spent with Anna learning all the things she knows and watching her enjoy life. She is so full of life and happiness - sometimes more life than I know what to do with. I had my moments of insanity, my moments I could barely stand to be in the house any more, and my moments of questioning my parenting skills. Even with all those moments, I wouldn't trade the time Anna and I spent together this summer.

I'm ready to get back to school, to get back to a routine, to get back to a balanced life. I think it will be good for my sanity. I have a parenting book that I'm enjoying and believing in so far and the name of a good therapist if work doesn't ease my mind. I love my girl. I love spending time with her. I like working. Here's to hoping for a great school year balanced with home life.

Today I'm thankful for:

• getting my room unpacked and set up
• new casual gym shoes - 2 pair, so I probably need to just pick one and return the other. We'll see.
• One more day of summer

A few more tidbits...

Some other vacation memories:

• Anna liked the boat, but only if it was moving - fast


• Anna, Bryan, and I were the first ones up everyday. It doesn't SEEM that long ago when I was the last one up everyday. Oh, how life changes.


• Bryan, Scott, Dad, and Rob (friend) went to the casino and all won a lot of money playing craps.


• Bryan and I made tacos and these chicken enchiladas - they were mighty tasty.


• We didn't make it to the Sleeping Bear Dunes because of the rain, but we did eat ice cream at the Pine Cone in Glen Arbor.


• We got souvenirs in Fish Town, aka: PePe Town


• I thought my step mom wouldn't like one of the boy's names I like (no, I'm not pregnant - I just like to pick out names) because of a negative association, but she does like it! So, Blake is back on the top of the list - with Carter a close second.

Leland, MI - 2010

I've been on hiatus this past week, and for a great reason - V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N! My step mom's family has a house on Lake Leelanau in Michigan. It's a really nice lake, big and relatively empty. They (my step family) have a pontoon boat, a speed boat, a jet ski, and a great yard . We were able to go this year along with my dad, step mom, brother, his friend, little sister, and her friend. We had great weather until Thursday, but that's the way it goes sometimes. We were nervous about the ride up with Anna, but she did really well. We got a DVD player for the car, and she actually enjoyed some of the shows: The Wiggles and Baby Einstein videos. We tried other shows, but she wasn't interested.

Anna had so much fun. I think it might be a tough week back - no perfect temps, no big kids to play with, no water to swim in, no jet ski to ride. She loved waking up every morning to run around the yard and explore. Even more fun was after her nap when she could get her suit on and go for a swim or a jet ski ride (very slow, very close to the house). She bonded with my little sister, Sydney, and her friend, Erin. She called them, "my girls." She got a chance to get to know my dad, step mom and brother better too - so thankful for that family time. She was so tired she slept most of the ride back today, so did I.

Today I'm thankful for:

a fun family vacation

a safe trip home

Anna did great in the car

we met with Bryan's family for lunch on the way home

I got all the vacation stuff put away and the laundry started

Love You!

I've been meaning to write this for a few weeks...Anna tells us "love you." It's so darn cute. It sounds more like "ya you." My favorite time that she says it is at bed time. She picks her head up, peaks through the crib, and says "ya you" as we are closing the door. Seriously, so cute.

She's doing really well with her speaking. She almost always tries new words she hears. She is speaking in 2 and 3 word phrases. It's so funny because her words and syllables get all mixed up if she tries too many words together. She doesn't have her "f" sound yet, so anything with an "f" makes a "p" sound, so food = "poo". As in, "Mama, that Shellshell poo?" Many of her words sound the same: "papa" is sprinkler and pretzel and caterpillar (The Very Hungry One). I still need a context to figure what she's talking about.

Ya You, Anna!

Today I'm thankful for:

• blueberry muffins
• seeing Eclipse - again
• school supplies are in stores now - I really get excited for school supplies. Cool, right?

Happy Anniversary

I think I've mentioned my love for Bryan, but here we go again. We were married 4 years ago today! We got married outside - it was beautiful, it was hot, it was romantic, it was fun, it was perfect. Since that day 4 years ago, we've had countless Friday night dinners, plenty of cuddle time on the couch, a new house, a few vacations, and of course our beautiful baby.

Our marriage works, not because we're perfect, but because we compromise, and we're honest. When we tell each other what we need, we work to be better partners and meet those needs. Bryan loves me even though I get crabby. I love him even though he likes to push my buttons. It's good to love and be loved.

Today I'm thankful for:

• time to get things done
• an awesome book: Fortune's Rock by Anita Shreve
• another year of marriage to look forward to
• I'm asking for more help, and Bryan is helping with the little things more often

a great weekend

On Saturday afternoon we drove to Cincinnati, dropped Anna off at my mom's, went to dinner (just Bryan and me!), watched Toy Story 3 (awesome), and had Zip Dip (the world's best creamy whip). It was a really fun date night. We hadn't had one of those in a VERY LONG TIME, so it was really nice.

We spent the night at my mom's then went to the zoo on Sunday morning. It was hot, but manageable. Anna loves the zoo, and Bryan and I enjoy it too. I think she loved the petting zoo the best. She got to pet and feed the goats and babydoll sheep. She refuses to ride in her stroller - even with candy and snack bribery. She kicks, screams, contorts, what ever it takes to get out. So, maybe our stroller days are over?

We had a family dinner at my dad's that night for my little sister's, Sydney, 8th grade graduation party. Catholic school graduation from 8th grade is a big deal. It was nice to see my family - aunts, uncles, cousins, nephews, sisters, brother, dad, and step-mom.

All in all...a great weekend!

Today I am thankful for:

1. Bryan has the day off
2. I got my class list for next school year - always exciting!
3. sleeping in my own bed

Things I've learned so far

So, my summer is at about the half-way point (yikes!) Anna and I have been making the most of the hot humid days. I've been to Target more than Bryan would like - but I'm getting it under control, I promise. I've also been doing a little tutoring and even less cleaning.

Anna's great. Yes, she's dramatic and whines at every little thing and fights for control every chance she gets, but here are some things I've experienced with Anna since we've been together so much. These are the things that make her wonderful, and make me so proud to be her momma, momma, momma, mommy, mommy...

• She knows that A is for Anna, and D is for Daddy. I kid-you-not. Yes, she gets confused and forgets sometimes, but I'm telling you she knows A and D! I'm not even trying to be "crazy mom" making her read at age 2; she asks so many questions that I realized she knows those letters.
• I think reading is her favorite activity. We read the same books over and over and over and over. Then she starts "reading", ok, saying some of the words with me or after me.
• She is so curious and wants to learn everything she can. Kids are such sponges. She asks about a million questions a day, but half the time she's just repeating the same thing over and over to be sure that I'm telling the truth and giving her my full attention.
• She likes to copy our movements. If I bend down and touch my toes, she bends down to touch her toes. B and I keep saying we need to watch our mouths because I just know she's going to drop the F-bomb one of these days. I've gotta stop with that potty mouth.
• She likes to play hide and seek. She stands right in front of me, puts a blanket over her head, and says "Annnnnaaaaaa." That means I have to guess where she is. I guess a few places, and then I find her - what a trickster - standing under the blanket again! We do this over and over and over (are you seeing a theme).
• She sleeps in until around 8 everyday! How lucky am I? Come on now, I should at least get one easy thing.
• She loves to be outside - playing, taking a walk in her stroller, and looking for animals. She also likes to point out the stop signs.
• Some days she likes to use the potty regularly and other days she doesn't. I'm not pushing it. She'll let me know when she's ready.
• She loves Lady Gaga. She can sing along to the "la, la, la" and "ga, ga, ga" parts.
• I'm seeing some improvements in the "following directions" category. I'm learning how to get Anna to do what I want/what she needs to do while working with her. She needs to feel like she has control in the situation or I lose; I'm trying to win.
• She is so full of life and never has a dull moment. We go, go, go all day long.
• She is probably one of the sweetest and most loving children I've ever seen. She gives hugs and kisses to everyone and everything she possibly can. We often tell her that she can't hug that dog because we don't know it. She gave some old lady at the pool a hug and kiss - I guess she thought she needed a little love. B and I each get about 5 hugs and kisses each night at bedtime; it would be more, but we have to say, "last one," or we would be there all night.

I really love her. Sometimes it's tough being home all day, but I really love her so much and feel so blessed to be her momma, momma, momma, mommy, mommy!

I am thankful for:

1. a three day weekend with B
2. Eddy's real fruit popsicles - so yummy
3. my beautiful, sweet, loving baby

4th of July fun

We headed downtown for the 4th of July festivities. We decided to go down early because Anna usually does better in the mornings. We walked around and looked at the crafts, let Anna play in a few bounce houses, and visited the petting zoo. While at the petting zoo, she got to pet and feed goats, sheep, bunnies, and what I think might be llamas. She also got to ride on a pony and when the ride was over it was the start of meltdown central. She kept saying, "My neigh, my neigh, I want a neigh." Ohh, the "I want a pony" days have already started. I finally got her calmed down and back in her stroller, and we walked around a little more.

We headed home around 12. We were all hot and had seen what we wanted to see. It was a great day, and we'll be sure to go again next year. Maybe one of these days we'll be able to go down for the fireworks!

Today I am thankful for:

• being an American
• fireworks to watch in the neighborhood
• reading and craft time with Anna

Things I am

I am:

• curious
• a question asker
• laid-back
• patient
• a realist
• multi-tasker
• thorough
• a planner
• a smart worker
• dedicated
• a learner
• a worrier
• paranoid
• genuine
• a loud laugher
• organized
• a thinker

I lose my footing now and again, but those are my usual ways.

Today I am thankful for:

1. 5 more baskets of books cataloged
2. a trip to the pool with my mom and Anna tomorrow
3. photograph books for Anna

Hard work

I've known this, and I will have it reaffirmed every summer: being a stay-at-home-mom is hard work. It takes things from you that you aren't sure you have. It leaves you wondering what your life was like pre kid and marriage.

The only thing I ever wanted to be was a mom. I didn't know what kind of job I wanted (except in 1st grade I wanted to be a cashier at McDonald's - because that's a classy job). I didn't know where I wanted to go to college. I didn't know where I wanted to live. I knew I wanted to be happily married with a few babies, and that's all. I am glad that I always kept that "happily married" in my sights because my life is pretty great. I just like to complain.

I was watching a taped Oprah where Julia Roberts was talking about how her life is so wonderful. She has a husband she adores, twin 5 year-olds, and a 2.5 year-old. She was talking from this place that made it seem like they all lie around and share profound thoughts and watch butterflies in the garden for hours on end. It was hard for me to understand even though I have a husband that I adore (most days :)) and a 2 year-old that is full of joy and all the other things 2 year-olds are full of. Then I thought...she probably has someone clean her house, make her low fat and great tasting meals, go to the grocery store, do her laundry, and all those other things that are no fun but have to get done. She has time to enjoy the butterflies. Plus her 2.5 year-old probably can't put up a fight like mine.

I thought I need a little of that - whatever it is that Julia Roberts has. What do I have to complain about (a lot, apparently). I get to spend time getting to know my baby in a way that I don't always get during the year. We read the same stories over and over and over and, well you get it, but I've noticed she's starting to say some of the words of the text when I say them! This was remarkable to me. Yes I'm trapped at home because going to the store is not really so fun, but I've bought some activities. Anna loves play-doh with cookie cutters, markers, and we haven't even opened the finger paints or puppets yet. Think of the messy fun to come!

What I'm saying is...yes, it's hard to be home but not really have the ability to make my own choices. Yes, it's hard to have to be right next to someone just to watch while thinking about the book I want to be reading or the cleaning that has to be done. Yes, limited adult interaction can be disappointing. BUT...I get to watch my baby grow and learn. I get to sleep in and be well rested for a day full of kid fun (Who wants to clean anyway?). I get to meet with friends for lunch or dinner to catch up on the excitement (or lack there) of summer.

To all the mommies out there...you're great, you're awesome, you're doing a terrific job, and it all matters.

Things I am not...

I am not:

• adventurous
• a rebel
• a good speller
• a risk-taker
• a liar
• a cleaner
• hyper
• a control freak
• an over achiever
• a perfectionist
• a woo-hoo girl

I guess there are always moments when I break the mold, but don't expect the above from me too often.

Today I am thankful for:

• not working on a Monday
• lunch with a friend
• reading with Anna

One of many

I have several neurosis. I'm sure we all do; I hope we all do or this might seem really weird.

One of my paranoias: I always think I'm pregnant. I don't actually believe I'm pregnant, but I have to take a pregnancy test to prove that I'm not. That's probably weird. I can't be sure how many tests I take in a year - probably 3 or 4. I buy the multi-pack. Bryan just shakes his head.

I always have 2 or 3 symptoms of pregnancy before I take the test. These symptoms include: vomiting (fairly common for me), urinating frequently, smelling things very strongly (I thought someone broke jars of pickles and squirted mustard all over the grocery store when I was pregnant.), being very tired, getting so angry over something stupid that I think fire is actually coming out of my ears (like on cartoons), and being overly sensitive (crying over something really dumb).

I am a worrier by nature, so I think that's why I take the tests. Because of my medical issues, I really need to plan and be ready for a pregnancy, which I am not currently doing, so I just get really paranoid.

I took a test on Father's Day weekend (aw, wouldn't that have been so cute - happy father's day again!) It was of course - negative, don't go getting your hopes up. I will have to say, it was the first time I felt OK with the prospect of having another baby; you know, not panicked and stressed. I'm glad it's not the time yet; Anna is still too needy, and I'm worthless when I'm pregnant. I plan on thinking about it more in a year from now. Until then...Anna's more than enough fun, joy, and drama for this mama.

Today I am thankful for:

• a fun night out with the girls
• grocery shopping by myself
• new books waiting for me at the library

Tribute to Bryan

Here are a few reasons I love Bryan as a dad, the things that make him great as Anna's daddy...

• He loves her more than he ever thought he would or could love a child.
• They play hide and seek, and Anna is full of joy and happiness. Watching them play together is one of my favorite times.
• He reads books to her. Their favorite is Goodnight Moon.
• He wants her to be happy, and will do what he can to make her happy when she's pouting. When they went to visit his parents and I didn't go, he sang to her in the car when she was sad. Bryan never ever, I mean NEVER EVER sings. I don't think I've ever heard him sing.
• He built her a swing set and swings with her on his lap.
• He plays tricks on her, which she loves.
• He has her best interest at heart. He worries about her, and he's not a worrier, at least not a pro like me. He did a lot of dumb and dangerous things as a kid, and he's said he doesn't want her doing any of those things.
• He gives her unlimited hugs and kisses.
• Many times he has said, "The best part of my day is when I get to see her after work. She makes me forget all the crappy work stuff."
• Every night before he goes to bed he goes in her room to check on her and cover her up again.

Love B as my hubby, love him all over again as my baby daddy.

Busy in the Nati

Yesterday we went to Cincinnati for my brother's graduation party. He graduated from Ohio State, just like his favorite sister :). He has a degree in Business: Information Systems and Logistics. He claims it's a valuable degree to have, but that doesn't give him much motivation for finding a job. I guess he's taking it easy while he can?

I told him Bryan can push his name through if there are jobs to apply for at Toyota, but he has to actually apply. He also has a place to live, and what 22 year old single boy wouldn't want to live with his sister, her hubby, and their 2 year old. No- we don't really drink, no- we don't go to bars, no- we don't stay up late, but we can still be fun (but only until 10:00).

It was fun to catch up with my family at the party. I got to see Drew - he's getting so big! Anna had a blast playing with her cousin Jackson, playing with the dogs, and being nosey. She was up until 10:00, but she did great.

We had lunch at my dad's today for Father's Day. Then we had to go visit my Grandma and Grandpa. Well, that also means that Anna was 2 hours late for her nap in addition to her late night partying. She did remarkably well - I was very surprised and impressed. She slept all the way home and is still sleeping in her bed right now. It might be an interesting day tomorrow.

I'm thankful for:

• a loving husband and father. He sure does love Anna and me, and I never have to wonder.
• visiting with family
• the chance to watch Anna play with her cousins - I wish we could do it more.
• a safe trip to Cincinnati and back.
• miralax - Anna was hurting so badly, and that cleared her out...really well.

Our House - 1 year and 2 days

We moved in a year ago Saturday. That was a crazy, emotional, and stressful time. I'm glad to not have all that going on this year. We've settled into life in our new home pretty well over the past year.
Here are a few things I love about our house:

1. living in a ranch is so nice - I never would have thought that I would like it so much, but I do.
2. the basement is so nice and cool in the summer - it's a great place to watch tv.
3. I have tons of space to store things in the kitchen.
4. living close to Hamburg is very convenient.
5. our utility bills are much lower (bigger house - less in utilities...don't buy a Ball Home)
6. we don't have any trashy neighbors that neglect their homes anymore.
7. we have plenty of room to spread out
8. we have a yard big enough for a kick ass swing set
9. I have a huge laundry room with a big area to fold clothes - makes a chore a little better

Living in our new house has been great, but of course not perfect. Here are a few things that I don't love so much:

1. that nice cool basement in the summer is also very cool in the winter - we're looking into a fireplace solution.
2. the disposal sucks - I throw most things into the garbage
3. I don't think we are really "neighbor" people. While they are not trashy, many are strange and nosey.
4. The traffic coming home is sometimes a pain.

All in all: I'm so glad we moved. We have a beautiful home we can grow into over the next ?? years. We are very fortunate to have a nice home to live in.

I'm thankful for:

• a great start to my summer - a day of playing with Anna
• a really good book: Velva Jean Learns to Drive
• Anna used the potty for pee-pee 4 times today (I apologize for the people without kids, but this is what becomes of life with a two year old) - she only went in her diaper during nap time and in the car!

My Other Life

When I was little I used to go to the video store with my mom to rent movies. I'm a creature of habit, and I would usually rent the same movies over and over again. One of my favorites: Swiss Family Robinson! Wouldn't it be so cool to be shipwrecked on an island with your family, and then build a sweet house right on the beach? I was very lucky as a kid, and got to go to the beach with my mom and with my dad each summer. (Funny side note: I was shocked to find out that kids that live in Myrtle Beach go to school.) I love the beach. I think my love of the beach and Swiss Family Robinson was the start of a life path I didn't take. I wonder what would have happened if I went to college near the beach??? I didn't even think to look at colleges that far away. I wonder if I would live there now. I don't want to really wonder because I wouldn't have B or Anna, but I wouldn't mind our little family living there now.

Bryan and I have been watching Lost on Netflix streamed to the XBOX (gosh things have changed). We used to watch Lost, but when I got pregnant I got very tired, and it got very weird, so we quit watching. Well then everyone kept saying how good seasons 5 and 6 were, so we're starting over at 1. We'll get to 5 and 6 eventually. Lost just brings back all those feelings to want to live on the beach. I don't want to live on that beach because it's mostly weird, but I want to live at/near A beach, in a house would be preferable. I think it's a case of "the grass is always greener," but I really want to live at the beach.

Here's what my life would be like if I lived at the beach:

• We would have a nice, sturdy house with windows that overlooked the water, and a big deck
• Anna and I would take walks everyday looking for beach treasures
• I would have a nice golden tan all year
• We would have enough room for guests
• I like working, but maybe at the beach I would like to be a stay at home mom
• I would always be in a happy mood, because I live at the beach

I know for this to happen at this time in our lives (house on the beach, no job) we will have to be the recipients of a very large sum of money, but it's fun to dream.

Maybe one day...

I'm thankful for:

• a sunny and hot day
• my summer is finally starting tomorrow
• more energy since school's been out

A Favorite Family Activity

Kids are great because they are so curious, and Anna's no exception. If Anna's words were written most of her "sentences" would end with an exclamation point or question mark. She either has something VERY important for me to attend to or is curious about what things are.

One of her most excitable times is during our evening walk. We enjoy taking walks when the weather is nice. Anna and Shelby probably enjoy the walks the most. Anna likes to point out all the animals she sees - dogs get a scream and repeat: "DOG, DOG, DOOOOOGGGG!!!", cats get a "meow, meooow," birds get a "bird, bird," ducks get a "quack, quack." Oh, but we don't stop at animals, we also get excited about cars, balls, and bikes. If strangers are really luck, they get a "hi."

Bryan and I have been using this time to work on:

• colors: What color is the grass/sky/dog/cloud/car? She says everything is white, so we'll keep working on those colors
• manners: I'm talking to Daddy, please wait your turn
• and stop signs: she now points out every stop sign and says "sta."

Between Anna's excitement and questions, Bryan and I talk about our day. It's a really nice time as a family. Our daughter is happy learning and experiencing nature, and Bryan and I get to hang out without many interferences.

Today I'm thankful for:

• getting my chapter books and non-fiction books organized and cataloged
• sun shine and outside play
• family time on our walk

school's out and summer plans

School's out for summer! Let me say that again ... school's out for summer!

I've had some crappy issues to deal with this year (gosh, I crack myself up), but now it's over :) While not every day was a dream, I did have some wonderful kids in my room. I would write what I learned this year, but I'm still going to PDs, packing my room, and reorganizing my books, so I haven't had time to relax and reflect on the year.

Plans for the summer:

• have fun playing with Anna
• tutor on Tuesdays
• have time for myself on Thursdays
• read
• get a tan
• go to the swimming pool
• go to the zoo
• hang out with friends
• enjoy weekends and evenings with B (not different, but I didn't want to leave him out)
• go to Michigan for a vacation
• take walks
• get back to exercising - in the morning - 30 Day Shred (I stopped doing the video when it got nice out, and we started taking walks at night, but I need something else.)

OK, OK, I'll be honest...

• shopping

I love having a job with a break. Teachers need a break from the chaos and work load. Happy Summer :)

all better now

Sometimes a girl (me) needs a little crying and a pitty party, and that's what I gave myself. Well the party's over, and I'm ok now. I just needed to release some frustrations.

We are back to using all the strategies we can to make life happy and calm...bribing with Smarties! And talking on her level, if this then this, and what ever else needs to be done. I'm not saying she doesn't fight or scream, because she does, but I'm not pulling my hair out (today).

I was picking Anna up at day care today when the assistant director and I were talking about summer plans. Anna will be going to day care on Tuesdays and Thursdays so she can keep up with learning and playing with her friends. I was saying how Anna does much better at school than she does with me. She rarely ever gives her teachers drama, tantrums, and bossiness; that makes me happy. She was shocked to hear that Anna gives me so much trouble. Then she was telling me how much she loves Anna because she's always happy and has to give her a hug and kiss every time she leaves the room. That one compliment made my day.

I will admit, for every tantrum and fight, I get many more kisses and hugs. She loves to play tricks. She loves to laugh and have fun. She loves to be silly. She loves to play pretend. She loves to read. She loves to take care of her babies. She loves to make animal noises. She loves to play outside.

My life is pretty great after all.

I'm thankful for:

• not being sad anymore
• sunny warm weather
• my job - signed my contract for next year!

I'm not a fighter

I don't like to fight. I've never been one to instigate fights. (Don't worry, I will stick up for myself when someone starts shit.) I didn't fight with my parents. I rarely fight with Bryan. I don't like fighting with my baby, but it seems like a constant thing, and I'm not ok.
I've mentioned Anna's intense need for control and independence. I've been told that these are great qualities once she's grown and out of the house; I can even value these qualities for her future. I'm having one hell of a time valuing those qualities now.
I don't cry often, but I'm crying as I write this.
I don't consider myself a control freak. I'm go-with-the-flow. I can let minor things go. But...there are some things that are non-negotiable:

• riding in her car seat
• getting close to the street
• wearing a diaper until she's potty trained
• following my directions without pushing the limits

Anna fights me on every single one of these issues. She fights by stiffening her body, making her body limp, contorting her body, screaming, hitting, running away, avoidance and distractions. I try to keep my calm. I try to stay in control. She just keeps on fighting without giving in. It is so frustrating. I try being positive and give praise. I try using a firm voice. I try preparing her before the situation occurs. I get on her level to talk to her. I follow through with what I say. I try distracting with stickers and babies. I try giving rewards which to a two year old is usually food, but I have issues with that. I try using time out. I try using spanking (Yes, I do. I feel bad about it, but it's one of the rare ways I can get her to do what needs to be done. Then I think I'm hurting her self esteem. She might be all screwed up because she gets spanked. I obviously wasn't spanked.)

I don't know if I can deal with this all day long this summer. I feel like a bad mom.

I can still be thankful:

• playing outside
• finishing a good book - The Blind Side (like the movie
• smoothies made with vanilla yogurt and frozen fruit

The end is near.

We have 8 days of school left -yes! It's been a good year. I've had some interesting issues to deal with but, all in all, it's been a good one.
We had our parent program today. The students write letters to their parent(s) about what they learned in first grade and what they enjoyed about first grade (recess). The letters are very sweet. They read the letters aloud to their parents, and did an awesome job.
Last year I made muffins and punch, this year I made some easy favorites:

• banana nut mini-muffins - I used the Martha Stewart recipe for banana bread that I always use, but made mini muffins (350 for 12 minutes). The strange thing is the muffins don't taste near as delicious as the bread.
• French Breakfast Puffs - also minis - from PW
• Hello Dollies -see recipe below. I probably put it up before, but I don't feel like looking.
• I bought the orange juice.

I had a lot of parents say "thanks" and they "enjoyed the program", but I had just as many not say anything. How do you not say "thanks"???? I spent 3 hours of my time baking those delicious goodies. I could have given them nothing and not done a program, because obviously it's easier. I'm also annoyed that parents don't follow my directions: Parents get the treats first. When I say it's ok, students may have 1 treat. Why do they feel it's necessary to give their child more treats???? I will never understand. I will still do a parent program again next year - for the parents that enjoy it and use their manners.

Hello Dollies

• 1 pack of graham crackers - smashed into crumbs
• 1 stick of butter melted - mix with the crumbs and make a thin layer in a 13 x 9 pan
• 1 cup butterscotch chips
• 1 cup white chocolate or bittersweet chips
• 1 cup coconut
• 1/2 cup chopped pecans
• 1 can sweetened condensed milk over the top of the layers above
• bake at 30 minutes at 350
• I like them in the refrigerator.

I am thankful for:

• getting to watch Anna squeal with joy while looking at the animals at Pet's Mart
• a strawberry milkshake from Steak N Shake
• people that use their manners

Zoo Pictures