Opportunity Cost

Bryan and I moved into our house 5 years ago thinking we would live here for about 5 years. It's a great house, but it's missing a few things we would like to have in a home as Anna gets older and we possibly have another baby. So from time to time we go to open houses and see what's available on lbar. We go back and forth as to buying a new home now while the interest rates are super low or stay where we are and wait for an upturn in the economy. It's all about those magic words from Econ: opportunity cost. If we buy now: we can get more home for less money BUT we are losing that safe feeling we have in our house now - if one of us was job less, we could still afford to live here. If we buy later: we might have more security and more income, but housing prices and rates will probably be up meaning we might not find something we like in our price range.

I won't have tenure until 2010, but I do have a pretty good feeling that my job is secure since we are adding more teachers next year. But that non-risk-taking-realist in me says, "you never know..." Bryan's job is secure, but since he works in auto-manufacturing, he's faced some cutbacks, but nothing we can't manage.

We found a house today in a neighborhood that we like. This was the first house that we both really liked and fit most "wants".

• great backyard
• move-in ready (we wouldn't have to do any remodeling, wall paper taking-down, or painting in main rooms. don't worry uk-blue bedroom, your end will be soon enough)
• hardwood floors throughout
• 4 bedrooms
• 3 bathrooms
• bonus room
• basement (unfinished)
• 2 car garage
• good location - close to places we go and my work, not horrible for B
• nice extra features (surround sound, crown molding, nice light fixtures)
• good layout
• only 3 years old
• good closets
• storage shelves in basement
• eat-in kitchen/breakfast room, but no dining room that's wasted space for us
• the windows have white "wood" blinds, so no extra cost there

A few things that it's missing:

• a WOW, super kitchen - it's good, and definitely useable without having to be remodeled, but I wasn't in love with it, you know. I thought I would get that WOW kitchen with my next house.
• no big front porch - It's just something that I think gives great curb appeal,but the backyard makes up for it.
• the family room is small and doesn't have great space for furniture, but with a bonus room and potential for a family room in the basement, it's manageable.

I think we might look into it a little further. It seems almost too good, but is the timing right???? Can we really afford it???? Would we be getting in over our heads???? I like not having to stress over bills - would a bigger mortgage stress us out? There's that pesky old opportunity cost again.

Maybe it will work out, maybe it won't, what ever happens will be the right thing.

laughing and thinking.

I was reading PW and came across a link she posted for funny Olan Mills Photos. PW happens to be on the listing. It's so funny - laugh-out-loud funny. I love that kind of funny. Maybe you'll love that kind of funny too. Check it out.

I thought about something today. I've been pumped-up excited for the 9 days ahead bc I can sleep in! Sleeping in = 8:00. When did that happen????? My friends didn't call me until it was past 12:00 when I was in high school. I used to stay up and watch Conan at night and sleep till 10 or 11 in college. J-O-B is when it happened, stupid 5:30 am. Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined myself living in Kentucky (of all places) while waking up at 5:30 - in the MORNING! At lease Anna likes to sleep in too, sweet baby girl, takes after her momma. I didn't know I would be saying momma either, that's a southern thang.

I know this means a lot to him.

I go back and forth between having/not having another baby.



Right now, Anna is more than enough joy and love and excitement. It's hard to think about having another little person to love and worry about. I think she's great, and I wonder what another child would be like - we he/she be the same, very different, a little the same and a little different??? I think I would like for her to have a sibling, but know that if she's an only child, then that's ok too.

My diabetes is a concern - pregnancy puts an extra amount of stress on my already-fragile system. I can handle the extra vigilance on my blood sugars and diet. I can even handle the daily vomitting for 6 months (although the distance of my classroom to the bathroom would be a major hurdle to worry about later).

My biggest problemo - I take a water pill now to help my Meniere's Disease under control. Meniere's disease effects my balance and hearing. It's an ever-changing disease, and pretty much a pain in the ass. I used to wake up at night with the room spinning violently, leaving me in the bathroom for hours on end -sleeping and throwing up (gross, sorry). Well it's evolved over time and now I get sudden, short (seconds) tilts of the room. I don't end up in the bathroom, but they are very scary, and make me fall over. I've cut down on salt tremendouly in my diet (don't even use a salt shaker), and completely cut out things that I think bring attacks on: chocolate, grapefruit, and splenda to name a few. Between the water pill and the diet restrictions, I've been able to keep the vertigo spells to very seldom and very minor. I can't take a water pill if I get pregnant, which I fear will bring the spells back with a vengence. Why? Well because when I was out of pills and didn't get my refil for about 4 days, I had a major, crazy bad spell, that put me to tears and scared the poo out of my poor cousin the night before she got married (sorry Steph).

A possible solution - surgery. One option that I'm leaning towards is called a labyrnthectomy. The doc would cut the balance nerve on my left (effected ear) leaving my right side to componsate. Last year's tests found that my right ear is already compensating 70% for my left ear, so it doesn't have much more work to do.

My fears:

• surgery and it's inherint risks. I'm a mom now, Anna needs a mom.


• I will lose all hearing in my left ear, not a huge deal 'cause I can't hear out of it anyway


• the recovery - supposedly it only takes a few weeks by the docs standards to get back to normal. I just don't know if I believe that. The more I get up and get moving, the faster my recovery will be. It's the fear of the unknown. I haven't found a lot of info on the internet to help me either.

I just don't think I'm ready this summer. I'm going to keep thinking about it and talking to the doc about it. I don't like that this disease has so much control over my life. I drive as little as possible, I don't drive on the highway, I don't even like driving to the grocery. School and maybe something else here and there, but not much else.

It might come down to surgery because Bryan said, "I would like to have another baby. I would like Anna to have a brother or sister." This is a huge statement coming from my husband, a man who doesn't think too much about the past or the future, but is a great example of living in the present. Since he said this, I know it's important to him. He loves me. He loves Anna. He wants to love another baby too.

The internet is soooo fun. Blogs are fun cause you can keep looking at other blogs on the blog roll and then people have links to all kinds of things.

Well, I was looking at this blog when I watched the video for Lady Antebellum's new song as she suggested. It got me to thinking about guys that are not hot, but are - kind of like the male lead singer in my opinion. Top of my list of not-hot hot guys: Kevin Bacon. 'Gotta cut loose, foot loose, kick of your Sunday shoes!'

Is it the attitude (I can dance AND change the rules in your stupid town)? Is it some definable characteristic (like crazy bed head no matter what time of day)? Is it the smile (Bryan might smile at me like that if I wore cowgirl boots and ruffle tops like Ariel, hmmmm).

One last note as I ramble about my favorite not-hot hot guy: Bryan doesn't ever share his 'list' with me (if you've watched Friends, you know what I'm talking about) or talk about how hot the girls are on tv - even when I ask. I guess he only has eyes for me. Kiss that, Ariel :).

happy b-day B

As I mentioned previously, I have thouroughly enjoyed reading PW's love story. PW talks about why she loves her hubby so much and why he's so great for her. It got me thinking...today's Bryan's 29th birthday, I love him tons, and I think he's great for me.

So in honor of my hubby on his birthday, a short homage to Bryan:

• he is who he is and makes no excuses


• black or white, but never gray


• loves me, and has never been afraid to show it


• loves Anna more than he imagined he could


• reliable


• responsible


• button-pusher extraordinair


• compromiser

At least it's not snow?

So, I'm kind of not thrilled with this weather. Rain makes me want to do nothing. Rain makes Bryan want to do nothing. We went to Cincinnati yesterday to visit family in efforts to avoid sitting around the house doing nothing. But Sunday came, and so did more rain. It's already past 1:00 and I've accomplished:

• reading Pioneer Woman's love story
• one load of laundry
• eating breakfast and lunch
• taken care of Anna

That means I still have to:

• read the rest of PW's love story - it's a really good read
• sort dirty laundry
• ??? loads of laundry
• put the two baskets of laundry away from last week
• figure out what to make for dinner
• go to Meijer (that's where I prefer to shop even though Kroger is closer)
• school plans (including a plan for my observation on Tuesday - eek!)
• pick up the house

On the bright side - I've had a really good weekend with Bryan and Anna - love them.

I want to win

First: I talked to Anna's head teacher on the way to work the other day. She put me at ease. The new girl is in training and she has already brought some things I was talking about to her attention. The head teacher or one of my favorite girls is in charge (depending on the time of day). She also said she would talk to new girl and help her improve.
And for the past two afternoons when I picked Anna up, she was actually pleasant and not super annoying. I'm hoping and praying that the improvements continue so I know I can leave my baby without worrying about her too much. I like the things daycare exposes her to, like other children her age to play and interact with, other adults, learning experiences, that's about it at her age. My friend really likes her in-home daycare. If it's structured and offers learning experiences and I like the lady and her teenage daughters, it might be a good alternative choice that is still close to home and it costs less. I might look into it over the summer, idk.

Second: I was reading Pioneer Woman, and she had a contest where she invited people to her house to make little cute cake pastries with Bakerella. She said she was going to have more contests like that in the future. I know I don't live in or near OK, but I might just use sick days and pay for a plane ticket if I won one of her contests. She's crazy (in a good way) - I don't know if I could keep up with her (baking, cleaning, cooking, photographing, homeschooling, decorating, and the list goes on), but I would really like to see where she lives, eat her food, and make cookies in her kitchen. This is my daydream...picture of me on her blog (with makeup on and a cute outfit that I never actually bake in - maybe photoshopped with a slight tan, but not overdone) and a caption that says "This is Laura. She made kick-ass cookies. I'll invite her back sometime." I used to day dream like that about boys in high school, now I'm daydreaming about being friends with a blogger, so ridiculous.

I'm off to relax and get ready for school and round 2 of parent-teacher conferences tomorrow. I know you're jealous.

I Can't Decide

I might have overreacted. I might not have overreacted.


Anna got a new "teacher" in her room a few weeks ago. I liked all the girls in her room. They were sweet and easy to talk to. I don't particularly care for the new girl - she's loud and rough. I feel like most of the people at daycare enjoy Anna, she's sweet, funny, and laid back; don't get me wrong, she has her moments, but her fits can usually be solved by paying some attention to her or singing to her. I feel like the new girl made a lot of negative comments about Anna and interrupted my conversations with the other girls, you know, unsolicited feedback. Anna's diapers were also put on very loosely which I think contributed to the every-day accidents on her clothes. So, we didn't exactly get off to a good start.

Bryan (drops her off in the am) said something about the diapers being put on poorly to Anna's head teacher, well, they got a little better. Then today, I went to change her diaper, and her onesie was only buttoned on one snap and the diaper was kind of half-assed. The onesie was all stretched out and started to make a rip at the snap. I kind of started fuming. I called the daycare and talked to one of the main people in the office. I calmly (yes, I was calm) told her I've not been happy with the new person in her room and why. My biggest complaint or worry: if she can't even put her diaper and clothes on, what else is she half-assing? Is she paying any attention to my baby? Is she taking care of her at all? I don't expect the girl to teacher her French, but cover the f-in' basics.


I've been happy with her daycare for the most part up to this point. There have been some small concerns, but I never worried that she was being taken care of until this point. So did I overreact, no, because taking care of Anna is my number one concern, and I have to stick up for her.

I just don't want the girl to take it out on Anna. I think I'll call and talk to her head teacher tomorrow to clear the air.

10 years and counting

It was around this time 10 years ago that I was diagnosed with type-1 or juvenile diabetes. I was enjoying my freshman year of college at Ohio State when my body was doing strange and mysterious things. I think sometimes people are afraid to ask about my diabetes, like it might upset me, but I live with it everyday - it became ok to me at some point.

So, what was my body doing during the 2 or 3 months I was diabetic and didn't know it?

• peeing, peeing, and more peeing


• drinking - water, juice, soda, milk, anything I could find, but nothing ever quenched my thirst


• bad belly - throwing up and just feeling bad every morning (no, I was not pregnant)


• drying out - my fingertips were crusty and nothing made them smooth


• hungry - I finished a WHOLE value meal, biggie sized from Wendy's. That might not seem like a big deal to some of you, but that was a first for me. I also ate open faced roast beef with green beans and rolls at Bob Evans and was starving afterwards - that's pure craziness if you've ever eaten all that food.


• losing weight - I remember looking at myself in the mirror, wearing my roommate's pants that several weeks ago were too tight, but were now looking hot despite the fact that I was eating my weight in food everyday.


• chronic yeast infections - sorry to go there, but it that's the way it was

How did I know?

• My mom is a nurse. I would talk to her about once a week and every week I added a new symptom. She told me I needed to check my blood sugar.


• The bf at the time had a diabetic roommate (funny how life works). I checked my sugar on his machine - it was 580. Normal blood sugar is 80-120. 580=very bad, very dangerous.


• I went to the emergency room in the middle of the night one weekend in early March.


• I was admitted to the hospital several days later when my sugar was 480 because even though I was almost 19, I still had juvenile diabetes, not type-2 (older, fatter, family history) like the ER docs thought. A little food knowledge would have been helpful (ie: a huge bagel and 2 glasses of milk does not mix with a body not making insulin).

What have I learned?

• life goes on


• to be nice even when I'm jealous and pissed of the freedom others seem to have (I know dad, life's not fair)
  
• grieving the loss of complete healthiness of my body took a while, but it was important


• it's important to surround myself with people that are concerned and invested in me taking the best care of myself possible


• how to read food labels and make healthy choices for my family and me


• I still like sweets and indulge now and again, sometimes too much 'now'!


• lots of people don't know shit about healthy eating or diabetes, and that's ok


• I have to keep the big picture of my future in mind when digressing from healthiness enters my mind


• diabetic mothers have big babies (she was 8.15 at 36 weeks - chubby perfection)


• I don't feel sorry for people that don't take care of themselves - step up and value yourself

Diabetes is just part of my life now. I've been able to help several mothers of newly-diagnosed children, and that makes some of the stuff I've gone through be worth it. I have a wonderful husband that doesn't accept excuses and keeps me on track when "some ice cream sounds good." I wish I wasn't diabetic, but accept that I am. I pray (yes, I do pray) that Anna has a healthier body than me.

I'm just a person, who tries to make kind choices, but I don't label it with religion.

So today was the first REALLY nice day we've had in several months. I think the sun, blue sky, and 75 degree temps were a one day thing for a while, but I'll take it! Bryan, Anna, Shelby, and I took a walk to the little playground in our neighborhood. It was her first time at a park, and she of course enjoyed herself on the swings, slides, and rocking things on springs. Well, while we were enjoying our time at the park, 2 girls in long skirts get out of their car and distribute religious material to the other park-goers. Bryan and I roll our eyes.

I grew up in a very Catholic part of Cincinnati. I was raised Catholic, went to Catholic schools for 12 years, and had/have Catholic friends and family. I didn't give much thought to my Catholicism until I went to college and met a boy involved in a Christian youth organization. I thought...I like participating in retreats, thanking God, and meeting new people. Well, let me tell you! I never felt like such an outcast in my whole life. I didn't have Christian youth groups at my all-girls-Catholic-high school; I was new to all their lingo and things they did centered around the bible - and I drank...beer (ahh, the horror). Anyway, I continued going to the meetings (idk how often they were) until around this time my freshman year (more on that at another time). I felt so judged and looked down on; I just didn't fit in and didn't feel welcome from a group of people calling themselves Christians, followers of Christ, right? I also had a roommate who was in a different Christian youth group that was a "Christian" (bible study, no drinking, crushing and kissing only) until she went home to hang out with her friends and did the opposite of all of the above. From then on, I kind of cringe when someone says "I'm a Christian" in the way that makes them think they are better than you, and if you're not a Christian then you have major problems and are complete weirdo not to be associated with.

Well in the 10 or so years since my freshman year, I've been exploring my beliefs. It got a little sketchy when I moved down in the Bible Belt and was bombarded with the various ways I am a sinner, and most likely to burn in hell, like the park girl's pamphlet said I would if I didn't go to her church or find God or whatever. I do believe in God/higher power. I do believe in treating others with kindness (I don't always succeed, but I try). I do believe in some kind of afterlife/heaven. I do believe I will enjoy myself in this afterlife even though I don't go to church and participate in organized religion. I do believe that my dead Grandma, Mimi, watches over me, Bryan, and Anna (Anna used to stare and smile at places on the ceiling when she was a newborn. I think she was smiling at her angels. She still does it every once in a while). I do believe that other people of various religions have the right to believe what they want (without hurting, killing, or abusing any other set of people). I do like and am friends with people that value church and religion highly in their lives (they just don't tell me to my face that I should go to church with them). I don't believe that if there is a God/higher power that he/she/it would not let someone into the afterlife because they didn't follow some strange set of rules set forth by a bunch of dead old men who had never had sex and de-emphazied the role of women in society (I'm speaking of Catholicism here as I don't know how all the other religions got their rules, but probably in a similar way).

You may not agree with me, you may even think I'm going to burn in hell, and that's ok because you can believe what you want to believe and I will believe what I want to believe. You can even pray for me "to find Jesus", just please don't ask me if I'm a "Christian" or give me literature on how I need to go to your church.

Also...a big thank you to you church-goers that still want to be my friend even though I'm a heathen.