I AM COMPLETELY ANNOYED WITH BLOGGER RIGHT NOW. IT WILL NOT KEEP THE SPACES I WANT BETWEEN PARAGRAPHS. I WILL CLUE YOU IN TO WHERE I WANT THE SPACES :) I know my limits. I respect my limits. I sometimes challenge those limits, but in little ways - like a new exercise video. There's a reason, well several reasons why Bryan and I have waited to have another baby. One of those reasons is that I'm respecting my limits. I do not like to overwhelm myself. I like to be healthy and productive with a smile on my face rather than drowning in stress and freaking out.
!!SPACE!! I recently had the chance to push my limits beyond their breaking point. I was so tempted; it sounded so fun - on the surface. But when I looked deeper, and really thought about life, I knew I wasn't up for the adventure of Disney World. Or to put it another way, I wasn't up for the adventure of Disney World with my baby. Bryan's sister has 3 kids under the age of 4, and she is brave enough to take on Disney World. I (with 1 kid) am not brave enough for Disney.
!!SPACE!! It was a really hard decision. I want to provide Anna with fun activities and experiences in life. She loves spending time with her cousins and Mimi and Papa (who are also going). But...in the end it comes down to the fact that she can't handle over-stimulation multiple days in a row especially if sleep and routine are thrown off. I can't think of a worse place to try to keep stimulation down and sleep on schedule. This is what happens when Anna has too much stimulation, is out of routine, and doesn't get enough sleep.
- Day 1: good, great even.
- Day 2: listening is at a 2 or 3 (out of 10), tantrums begin, meltdowns over EVERYTHING, aggressive behavior (usually hitting).
- Day 3: listening is at a 0, it is a full on cry fest, aggressive behavior (hitting and kicking), with super tantrums (those are the ones where she's so out of control the only thing that helps is playing in water or soapy bubbles). We've only ventured here a few times (thankfully): Kings Island and this past Christmas.
During all that time Bryan and I are trying to keep it together, help her every way we know how, and usually failing miserably. So, you see why when I REALLY thought about it, it wasn't such a hard decision. Flying down on Wednesday, going to the Magic Kingdom on Thursday, Animal Kingdom on Friday, MGM on Saturday, and plane ride on Sunday would lead to the complete emotional breakdown of my entire family all at the astronomical cost of $3000-$4000 (which is completely insane, I may add).
She'll be ready one day - probably when she's 8 or older. And that's ok because she most likely wouldn't remember a trip as a 3 year old, and I would only remember it as the trip from hell. She will have to get to the stage when she can verbalize her feelings and needs (such as: it is too crowded, and I'm tired. I need to go back to the hotel and swim for a while.) One of the books I'm reading is helping me help her work towards this skill (identifying what's wrong, and how to fix it rather than being irrational, aggressive, and out-of-control). Although the behavior of my spirited baby has improved greatly as she's gotten older and as Bryan and I have found ways to help her succeed, she still has limits, and as her mother I have to respect those limits until she can do that for herself.
We'll do something else fun those few days of Fall Break. Keenland will be open, and what's more fun than teaching your kid the value of money at the race track?
Today I'm thankful for:
- Anna - spirited and all
- a long talk with my mom
- a sound mind
- checking off things on my to-do list
- Bryan helped with the Junk Depot!!!
