Things I am

I am:

• curious
• a question asker
• laid-back
• patient
• a realist
• multi-tasker
• thorough
• a planner
• a smart worker
• dedicated
• a learner
• a worrier
• paranoid
• genuine
• a loud laugher
• organized
• a thinker

I lose my footing now and again, but those are my usual ways.

Today I am thankful for:

1. 5 more baskets of books cataloged
2. a trip to the pool with my mom and Anna tomorrow
3. photograph books for Anna

Hard work

I've known this, and I will have it reaffirmed every summer: being a stay-at-home-mom is hard work. It takes things from you that you aren't sure you have. It leaves you wondering what your life was like pre kid and marriage.

The only thing I ever wanted to be was a mom. I didn't know what kind of job I wanted (except in 1st grade I wanted to be a cashier at McDonald's - because that's a classy job). I didn't know where I wanted to go to college. I didn't know where I wanted to live. I knew I wanted to be happily married with a few babies, and that's all. I am glad that I always kept that "happily married" in my sights because my life is pretty great. I just like to complain.

I was watching a taped Oprah where Julia Roberts was talking about how her life is so wonderful. She has a husband she adores, twin 5 year-olds, and a 2.5 year-old. She was talking from this place that made it seem like they all lie around and share profound thoughts and watch butterflies in the garden for hours on end. It was hard for me to understand even though I have a husband that I adore (most days :)) and a 2 year-old that is full of joy and all the other things 2 year-olds are full of. Then I thought...she probably has someone clean her house, make her low fat and great tasting meals, go to the grocery store, do her laundry, and all those other things that are no fun but have to get done. She has time to enjoy the butterflies. Plus her 2.5 year-old probably can't put up a fight like mine.

I thought I need a little of that - whatever it is that Julia Roberts has. What do I have to complain about (a lot, apparently). I get to spend time getting to know my baby in a way that I don't always get during the year. We read the same stories over and over and over and, well you get it, but I've noticed she's starting to say some of the words of the text when I say them! This was remarkable to me. Yes I'm trapped at home because going to the store is not really so fun, but I've bought some activities. Anna loves play-doh with cookie cutters, markers, and we haven't even opened the finger paints or puppets yet. Think of the messy fun to come!

What I'm saying is...yes, it's hard to be home but not really have the ability to make my own choices. Yes, it's hard to have to be right next to someone just to watch while thinking about the book I want to be reading or the cleaning that has to be done. Yes, limited adult interaction can be disappointing. BUT...I get to watch my baby grow and learn. I get to sleep in and be well rested for a day full of kid fun (Who wants to clean anyway?). I get to meet with friends for lunch or dinner to catch up on the excitement (or lack there) of summer.

To all the mommies out there...you're great, you're awesome, you're doing a terrific job, and it all matters.

Things I am not...

I am not:

• adventurous
• a rebel
• a good speller
• a risk-taker
• a liar
• a cleaner
• hyper
• a control freak
• an over achiever
• a perfectionist
• a woo-hoo girl

I guess there are always moments when I break the mold, but don't expect the above from me too often.

Today I am thankful for:

• not working on a Monday
• lunch with a friend
• reading with Anna

One of many

I have several neurosis. I'm sure we all do; I hope we all do or this might seem really weird.

One of my paranoias: I always think I'm pregnant. I don't actually believe I'm pregnant, but I have to take a pregnancy test to prove that I'm not. That's probably weird. I can't be sure how many tests I take in a year - probably 3 or 4. I buy the multi-pack. Bryan just shakes his head.

I always have 2 or 3 symptoms of pregnancy before I take the test. These symptoms include: vomiting (fairly common for me), urinating frequently, smelling things very strongly (I thought someone broke jars of pickles and squirted mustard all over the grocery store when I was pregnant.), being very tired, getting so angry over something stupid that I think fire is actually coming out of my ears (like on cartoons), and being overly sensitive (crying over something really dumb).

I am a worrier by nature, so I think that's why I take the tests. Because of my medical issues, I really need to plan and be ready for a pregnancy, which I am not currently doing, so I just get really paranoid.

I took a test on Father's Day weekend (aw, wouldn't that have been so cute - happy father's day again!) It was of course - negative, don't go getting your hopes up. I will have to say, it was the first time I felt OK with the prospect of having another baby; you know, not panicked and stressed. I'm glad it's not the time yet; Anna is still too needy, and I'm worthless when I'm pregnant. I plan on thinking about it more in a year from now. Until then...Anna's more than enough fun, joy, and drama for this mama.

Today I am thankful for:

• a fun night out with the girls
• grocery shopping by myself
• new books waiting for me at the library

Tribute to Bryan

Here are a few reasons I love Bryan as a dad, the things that make him great as Anna's daddy...

• He loves her more than he ever thought he would or could love a child.
• They play hide and seek, and Anna is full of joy and happiness. Watching them play together is one of my favorite times.
• He reads books to her. Their favorite is Goodnight Moon.
• He wants her to be happy, and will do what he can to make her happy when she's pouting. When they went to visit his parents and I didn't go, he sang to her in the car when she was sad. Bryan never ever, I mean NEVER EVER sings. I don't think I've ever heard him sing.
• He built her a swing set and swings with her on his lap.
• He plays tricks on her, which she loves.
• He has her best interest at heart. He worries about her, and he's not a worrier, at least not a pro like me. He did a lot of dumb and dangerous things as a kid, and he's said he doesn't want her doing any of those things.
• He gives her unlimited hugs and kisses.
• Many times he has said, "The best part of my day is when I get to see her after work. She makes me forget all the crappy work stuff."
• Every night before he goes to bed he goes in her room to check on her and cover her up again.

Love B as my hubby, love him all over again as my baby daddy.

Busy in the Nati

Yesterday we went to Cincinnati for my brother's graduation party. He graduated from Ohio State, just like his favorite sister :). He has a degree in Business: Information Systems and Logistics. He claims it's a valuable degree to have, but that doesn't give him much motivation for finding a job. I guess he's taking it easy while he can?

I told him Bryan can push his name through if there are jobs to apply for at Toyota, but he has to actually apply. He also has a place to live, and what 22 year old single boy wouldn't want to live with his sister, her hubby, and their 2 year old. No- we don't really drink, no- we don't go to bars, no- we don't stay up late, but we can still be fun (but only until 10:00).

It was fun to catch up with my family at the party. I got to see Drew - he's getting so big! Anna had a blast playing with her cousin Jackson, playing with the dogs, and being nosey. She was up until 10:00, but she did great.

We had lunch at my dad's today for Father's Day. Then we had to go visit my Grandma and Grandpa. Well, that also means that Anna was 2 hours late for her nap in addition to her late night partying. She did remarkably well - I was very surprised and impressed. She slept all the way home and is still sleeping in her bed right now. It might be an interesting day tomorrow.

I'm thankful for:

• a loving husband and father. He sure does love Anna and me, and I never have to wonder.
• visiting with family
• the chance to watch Anna play with her cousins - I wish we could do it more.
• a safe trip to Cincinnati and back.
• miralax - Anna was hurting so badly, and that cleared her out...really well.

Our House - 1 year and 2 days

We moved in a year ago Saturday. That was a crazy, emotional, and stressful time. I'm glad to not have all that going on this year. We've settled into life in our new home pretty well over the past year.
Here are a few things I love about our house:

1. living in a ranch is so nice - I never would have thought that I would like it so much, but I do.
2. the basement is so nice and cool in the summer - it's a great place to watch tv.
3. I have tons of space to store things in the kitchen.
4. living close to Hamburg is very convenient.
5. our utility bills are much lower (bigger house - less in utilities...don't buy a Ball Home)
6. we don't have any trashy neighbors that neglect their homes anymore.
7. we have plenty of room to spread out
8. we have a yard big enough for a kick ass swing set
9. I have a huge laundry room with a big area to fold clothes - makes a chore a little better

Living in our new house has been great, but of course not perfect. Here are a few things that I don't love so much:

1. that nice cool basement in the summer is also very cool in the winter - we're looking into a fireplace solution.
2. the disposal sucks - I throw most things into the garbage
3. I don't think we are really "neighbor" people. While they are not trashy, many are strange and nosey.
4. The traffic coming home is sometimes a pain.

All in all: I'm so glad we moved. We have a beautiful home we can grow into over the next ?? years. We are very fortunate to have a nice home to live in.

I'm thankful for:

• a great start to my summer - a day of playing with Anna
• a really good book: Velva Jean Learns to Drive
• Anna used the potty for pee-pee 4 times today (I apologize for the people without kids, but this is what becomes of life with a two year old) - she only went in her diaper during nap time and in the car!

My Other Life

When I was little I used to go to the video store with my mom to rent movies. I'm a creature of habit, and I would usually rent the same movies over and over again. One of my favorites: Swiss Family Robinson! Wouldn't it be so cool to be shipwrecked on an island with your family, and then build a sweet house right on the beach? I was very lucky as a kid, and got to go to the beach with my mom and with my dad each summer. (Funny side note: I was shocked to find out that kids that live in Myrtle Beach go to school.) I love the beach. I think my love of the beach and Swiss Family Robinson was the start of a life path I didn't take. I wonder what would have happened if I went to college near the beach??? I didn't even think to look at colleges that far away. I wonder if I would live there now. I don't want to really wonder because I wouldn't have B or Anna, but I wouldn't mind our little family living there now.

Bryan and I have been watching Lost on Netflix streamed to the XBOX (gosh things have changed). We used to watch Lost, but when I got pregnant I got very tired, and it got very weird, so we quit watching. Well then everyone kept saying how good seasons 5 and 6 were, so we're starting over at 1. We'll get to 5 and 6 eventually. Lost just brings back all those feelings to want to live on the beach. I don't want to live on that beach because it's mostly weird, but I want to live at/near A beach, in a house would be preferable. I think it's a case of "the grass is always greener," but I really want to live at the beach.

Here's what my life would be like if I lived at the beach:

• We would have a nice, sturdy house with windows that overlooked the water, and a big deck
• Anna and I would take walks everyday looking for beach treasures
• I would have a nice golden tan all year
• We would have enough room for guests
• I like working, but maybe at the beach I would like to be a stay at home mom
• I would always be in a happy mood, because I live at the beach

I know for this to happen at this time in our lives (house on the beach, no job) we will have to be the recipients of a very large sum of money, but it's fun to dream.

Maybe one day...

I'm thankful for:

• a sunny and hot day
• my summer is finally starting tomorrow
• more energy since school's been out

A Favorite Family Activity

Kids are great because they are so curious, and Anna's no exception. If Anna's words were written most of her "sentences" would end with an exclamation point or question mark. She either has something VERY important for me to attend to or is curious about what things are.

One of her most excitable times is during our evening walk. We enjoy taking walks when the weather is nice. Anna and Shelby probably enjoy the walks the most. Anna likes to point out all the animals she sees - dogs get a scream and repeat: "DOG, DOG, DOOOOOGGGG!!!", cats get a "meow, meooow," birds get a "bird, bird," ducks get a "quack, quack." Oh, but we don't stop at animals, we also get excited about cars, balls, and bikes. If strangers are really luck, they get a "hi."

Bryan and I have been using this time to work on:

• colors: What color is the grass/sky/dog/cloud/car? She says everything is white, so we'll keep working on those colors
• manners: I'm talking to Daddy, please wait your turn
• and stop signs: she now points out every stop sign and says "sta."

Between Anna's excitement and questions, Bryan and I talk about our day. It's a really nice time as a family. Our daughter is happy learning and experiencing nature, and Bryan and I get to hang out without many interferences.

Today I'm thankful for:

• getting my chapter books and non-fiction books organized and cataloged
• sun shine and outside play
• family time on our walk

school's out and summer plans

School's out for summer! Let me say that again ... school's out for summer!

I've had some crappy issues to deal with this year (gosh, I crack myself up), but now it's over :) While not every day was a dream, I did have some wonderful kids in my room. I would write what I learned this year, but I'm still going to PDs, packing my room, and reorganizing my books, so I haven't had time to relax and reflect on the year.

Plans for the summer:

• have fun playing with Anna
• tutor on Tuesdays
• have time for myself on Thursdays
• read
• get a tan
• go to the swimming pool
• go to the zoo
• hang out with friends
• enjoy weekends and evenings with B (not different, but I didn't want to leave him out)
• go to Michigan for a vacation
• take walks
• get back to exercising - in the morning - 30 Day Shred (I stopped doing the video when it got nice out, and we started taking walks at night, but I need something else.)

OK, OK, I'll be honest...

• shopping

I love having a job with a break. Teachers need a break from the chaos and work load. Happy Summer :)