I realized I was pregnant a few days after getting hired at my new job (my current school). I remember talking to B in the parking lot telling him that the pregnancy test was positive. He said, "don't get too excited. You better talk to the doctor first." We are SO romantic. I'll try to be more romantic if there's a next time.
Week 6 came and...the sickness stayed through month 6. Mostly in the morning, sometime before lunch. I was horribly tired and had no energy at all - the whole pregnancy. I was not a good pregnant person. I am very jealous of people that feel great during pregnancy, because I was definitely not myself.
During my pregnancy I really had to be on top of my diabetes care and blood sugars. I took good care of myself, and I think that's why Anna was healthy when she was born. Even though I took care of myself, she still got really big - which is common for babies of diabetic mothers.
By month 8, I was swollen with water weight and was uncomfortable sitting and standing. I guess Anna was uncomfortable too, because she came early. It was a Friday after school and I wanted Frisch's. I remember sitting on the steps in the house while B was getting ready, and I felt WEIRD. I thought maybe it was heartburn or Anna was pressing on my lungs. I remember I was wearing a yellow long sleeved shirt and jeans. I can still see myself sitting on the steps - like I'm looking at myself. We went to Frisch's then came home. I could not sleep. I tossed and turned all night - still felt WEIRD. I guess I was having a lot of contractions; I had been having contractions up to that point, so it wasn't too different. I decided to call the doctor. I waited until 6 am because I didn't want to bother the Dr. or B from sleep. The doctor told me to go the hospital to be checked out. I figured they would send me home with heart burn. I was wrong.
The nurses put me in the booby-room. I call it that because it was right on the end and didn't have all the furniture and equipment it should have had. I guess they thought I would be going home too. I really had no idea I was in labor; it was a month before her due date. My water didn't break and I didn't lose my mucus plug (ewe, gross). I had no shower, no camera, no bag, no pillow, none of the 'stuff' I planned on having (we were planning on going shopping for all that stuff later that day). When the nurse checked me she said, "you are fully effaced and 2 cm dilated."
I said, "what does that mean?"
She said, "you're in labor. I'll get the Dr."
He came in and double checked and said, "you're going to have the baby today at 8." (I had already planned for a c-section because of the size of Anna relative to the size of me.)
I said, "are you serious?"
Dr. said, "yes, we'll get things going."
I said something to the effect of, "No, I can't have a baby, I don't have anything here. I don't even have a camera."
He said, "you're going to have the baby today. Use the camera on your cell phone." So we did. Those pictures are now lost in cell phone cyber space now, but that's ok. It's what is is.
Then all the people started coming in to get me ready. Then I felt the contractions - the painful ones in my back that you think about people in labor having. B called our family, and I tried to prepare myself to have a baby.
The things I remember from surgery: the Dr. had to use forceps to get Anna out even though I had a c-section. He said, "you should name her Bertha; she's a big girl." I also heard, "Look at all that hair!" I was nervous until I heard her cry, and still to this day, I don't think I have heard a more beautiful sound. She was born at 8:44 am weighing in at 8.15 - I told you she was a big girl. ( I am convinced she would have been a 12 pounder had I gone full term). I saw her for a second, then she was whisked away to the NICU Observation. I knew she would be taken away right away; the Drs prepared me for that. She had to have her blood sugar monitored until her body could regulate itself. While I was in recovery my family arrived and watched Anna: she had a bath, ate from a tube, breathed on her own, ate from a bottle, had her new baby tests done, and got her blood sugar regulated without having to be admitted to the actual NICU.
After I finally got to meet Anna I thought: so this is my baby, I can't believe she has so much hair, she looks just like Bryan, she is so chubby, she is so beautiful. I'm one lucky momma.
The only minor complication Anna had from being born prematurely was jaundice. She had to be under the bilirubin light. I don't really remember this moment, but B said he came back to the room (after going home to let the dog out or shower or whatever), and I was sitting on the bed crying because she was under that light all by herself with only a diaper on. She looked so lonely lying in that bed naked. I just wanted to pick her up and hold onto her, but she needed to get healthy first, and she did.
A few other memorable moments from the hospital:
- B changed most of the diapers, including the first one which he was certain there was something wrong. We called the nurse for confirmation that she was OK and the tar-like poo was normal. I told him it was, but he didn't believe me.
- B slept through all of her nighttime cries at the hospital. He was so beat.
- I kept apologizing to the nurses for my grossness since I hadn't had a shower since the morning before. They said they didn't care, but I still felt nasty.
- B had to give me a shower. It was not pretty. It was not romantic. It was a good showing of true love.
- While Anna was still in observation and the medicine hadn't worn off, I kept saying, "it's ok she isn't here. I don't think I could hold her anyway. My arms feel so funny." My step mom thought this was hilarious. She still laughs about this.
Today I am thankful for:
- a healthy baby
- strawberries
- great family
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