This evening I was able to lay on the couch and read my book while Bryan worked on the basement toy box project and Anna PLAYED BY HERSELF. Those of you with easy children, not children like the kind whole series of books are written (think Ramona, Junie B, Clementine...), might not quite understand the magnitude of this event. I've been dreaming of this day. I cried when I watched her talking to her dolls. I cried because I was so happy to see her engaging in her toys and using her imagination.
I don't know what made playing by herself so difficult. The dyspraxia - she didn't know how to play? The high energy - she couldn't calm herself enough to sit and focus? Her age - she just wasn't mature enough to play by herself?
I don't know what's caused the change. This wasn't the first day, but seeing her in the basement on the couch while Bryan was in a different part of the basement working, and I was upstairs made it really clear that she can do this - she can play by herself. I think the start of playing by herself has been a combination of things:
1) OT has helped her find her balance, her threshold. She is able to sit and focus so much more now than she ever could. We also use a brushing technique to help calm her each night at bed and when she starts getting physically agitated and hyper.
2) Pre-school has helped her both learn new things and play with friends in a smaller and calmer atmosphere than daycare. I think since the craziness is reduced, she can focus on her activities a little more.
3) She's maturing and getting older. Maybe it was finally her time.
Don't think I don't enjoy playing with Anna, because I love myself a few games of Candy Land and feeding Pink Baby her bottle, but the energy behind her constant demands for attention and control can be very exhausting. It's just a nice break from always monitoring, anticipating, and fighting for balance. It's so normal. It feels good to write that so I'm going to do it again. It's so normal.
Today I am thankful for:
1. a loving daughter
2. a daughter that can "read" with expression. Knuffle Bunny Too is a favorite right now.
3. a great book, French Lessons by Ellen Sussman
Showing posts with label OT. Show all posts
Showing posts with label OT. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Saturday, July 2, 2011
The Journey Continues...
When I was pregnant with Anna I could only think of how perfect my sweet little girl was going to be and how much fun I was going to have as a mom, and I was right. She is full of life, always has a hug and kiss for me (and just about everyone else), and definitely keeps life interesting. She also came with some surprises too; I suppose all children do.
It's been quite a journey learning how to be her mom, learning how to help her be her best. When I took her to her doctor or to the therapist, it was all, "She's fine. You have to set rules and stick to them. Pick your battles. It's just a stage..." I read books (the ones by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka were very helpful), and I kept thinking, "what is wrong with me? Why can't I help her calm down, let go of the control, follow rules, focus...?" Well I did help her. Her behavior has improved so much over the past year, but the issues still exist - I've just learned how to reduce the problems before they happen, the tantrums, the crying, and the outbursts.
On Friday, Anna and I went to a new OT, Julie, and had a very positive experience. I wasn't happy with our first experience. I felt a rush judgement was being made, they couldn't accommodate our working parents schedule, and I didn't have any data to accept the diagnosis. With Julie, she did an actual assessment (I forget the name) that determines if a child between 3 and 5 has Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) and dyspraxia. I watched Anna try to preform clear tasks with measurable outcomes. She couldn't do so many things she was asked to do. Julie explained that this is because she does in fact have high functioning SPD and dyspraxia. The high functioning part just means it doesn't look like there's anything wrong with her except maybe bad behavior and parents that don't have any control over her; when in fact we work with her so much to make each day and each activity successful. Sometimes we are successful, and sometimes we aren't. The SPD and dyspraxia mean she can't take an idea for a task, think of the processes to accomplish the task, then follow through with the steps to completion. It is most difficult for her when it's someone elses idea rather than her own...enter strong willed and non-compliant behavior - she CAN'T do it, so she won't. This is directly connected with her speech problem (phonological processing disorder). She is a sensory seeker while also being a sensory avoider. She loves to hug and climb all over people when it's her idea and she's in control; she doesn't like to be picked up, carried, or hold hands when it's not her idea.
There were a lot of things presented to me in a short amount of time, and Bryan and I have to go back for a meeting with Julie where she will present her report and treatment options, but this is the gist. I was really happy with Julie. She is willing to work with us, and she already started forming a bond with Anna and me.
I was initially hesitant to label Anna with a life-long diagnosis, but I saw how she really couldn't do the tasks. I am hopeful that she can be helped and treated with OT so life becomes easier for her and her behavior improves. I made a list of 10 goals I would like to see Anna achieve with the help of OT. The list ranged from being able to focus and play a game/activity for an appropriate amount of time to sitting down to eat dinner to writing her name. And selfishly, it's helped my mom ego to know that it's not me, she really does need extra help. I'm ok with it; she's healthy, fun, smart, and beautiful. She just needs a little extra help, and I'm willing to do whatever I can for her; right now that means we will be adding OT to our schedule.
Today I am thankful for:
It's been quite a journey learning how to be her mom, learning how to help her be her best. When I took her to her doctor or to the therapist, it was all, "She's fine. You have to set rules and stick to them. Pick your battles. It's just a stage..." I read books (the ones by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka were very helpful), and I kept thinking, "what is wrong with me? Why can't I help her calm down, let go of the control, follow rules, focus...?" Well I did help her. Her behavior has improved so much over the past year, but the issues still exist - I've just learned how to reduce the problems before they happen, the tantrums, the crying, and the outbursts.
On Friday, Anna and I went to a new OT, Julie, and had a very positive experience. I wasn't happy with our first experience. I felt a rush judgement was being made, they couldn't accommodate our working parents schedule, and I didn't have any data to accept the diagnosis. With Julie, she did an actual assessment (I forget the name) that determines if a child between 3 and 5 has Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) and dyspraxia. I watched Anna try to preform clear tasks with measurable outcomes. She couldn't do so many things she was asked to do. Julie explained that this is because she does in fact have high functioning SPD and dyspraxia. The high functioning part just means it doesn't look like there's anything wrong with her except maybe bad behavior and parents that don't have any control over her; when in fact we work with her so much to make each day and each activity successful. Sometimes we are successful, and sometimes we aren't. The SPD and dyspraxia mean she can't take an idea for a task, think of the processes to accomplish the task, then follow through with the steps to completion. It is most difficult for her when it's someone elses idea rather than her own...enter strong willed and non-compliant behavior - she CAN'T do it, so she won't. This is directly connected with her speech problem (phonological processing disorder). She is a sensory seeker while also being a sensory avoider. She loves to hug and climb all over people when it's her idea and she's in control; she doesn't like to be picked up, carried, or hold hands when it's not her idea.
There were a lot of things presented to me in a short amount of time, and Bryan and I have to go back for a meeting with Julie where she will present her report and treatment options, but this is the gist. I was really happy with Julie. She is willing to work with us, and she already started forming a bond with Anna and me.
I was initially hesitant to label Anna with a life-long diagnosis, but I saw how she really couldn't do the tasks. I am hopeful that she can be helped and treated with OT so life becomes easier for her and her behavior improves. I made a list of 10 goals I would like to see Anna achieve with the help of OT. The list ranged from being able to focus and play a game/activity for an appropriate amount of time to sitting down to eat dinner to writing her name. And selfishly, it's helped my mom ego to know that it's not me, she really does need extra help. I'm ok with it; she's healthy, fun, smart, and beautiful. She just needs a little extra help, and I'm willing to do whatever I can for her; right now that means we will be adding OT to our schedule.
Today I am thankful for:
- a trip to the Arboretum with Bryan and Anna
- sweet corn and cucumbers from the Farmer's Market
- a long weekend with my family
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
another step
Tuesday...
Anna had her second speech lesson today, and it went really well. She's there for an hour (yes, an hour!) working hard. Like most things with Anna, she does better as time goes on; the evaluation was horrible, lesson 1 a little better, lesson 2 a little better still. I'm proud of all the hard work she does - even if it is for the piece of candy she receives at the end of the lesson! She's working on her ending "p" and "t" right now. She's even bringing it into conversation sometimes. She also had her first daycare class today after speech. I'm hoping that went well and she enjoyed making new friends. I still get a little sad when I think about how she won't be seeing her teachers and BFFs from Tots' anymore, but life goes on.
After speech I went to meet with the OT that did Anna's evaluation to hear what she had to say. She definitely thinks Anna has Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). This incorporates Anna's sensory seeking behaviors, constant movement, distractability, and play integration problems. This is why Anna doesn't have boundaries, and why we work so hard to keep her safe. Just yesterday I had to pull her out of the swimming pool several times during swim lessons when she wasn't sitting on the steps but rather trying to swim underwater without her teacher! These are the behaviors Bryan and I work so hard to help her control, and sometimes seem to fail miserably, but lately have been having more success.
Anna had her second speech lesson today, and it went really well. She's there for an hour (yes, an hour!) working hard. Like most things with Anna, she does better as time goes on; the evaluation was horrible, lesson 1 a little better, lesson 2 a little better still. I'm proud of all the hard work she does - even if it is for the piece of candy she receives at the end of the lesson! She's working on her ending "p" and "t" right now. She's even bringing it into conversation sometimes. She also had her first daycare class today after speech. I'm hoping that went well and she enjoyed making new friends. I still get a little sad when I think about how she won't be seeing her teachers and BFFs from Tots' anymore, but life goes on.
After speech I went to meet with the OT that did Anna's evaluation to hear what she had to say. She definitely thinks Anna has Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). This incorporates Anna's sensory seeking behaviors, constant movement, distractability, and play integration problems. This is why Anna doesn't have boundaries, and why we work so hard to keep her safe. Just yesterday I had to pull her out of the swimming pool several times during swim lessons when she wasn't sitting on the steps but rather trying to swim underwater without her teacher! These are the behaviors Bryan and I work so hard to help her control, and sometimes seem to fail miserably, but lately have been having more success.
Wednesday...
I quit typing yesterday because it's hard to find the words. I'm so confused. When I was speaking with the OT I had several feelings: 1) she understands; I'm not overreacting just because Anna is different from me and does things that make no sense to me, but also 2) Anna is not THAT extreme; her behavior and ability to make good choices has improved dramatically since last year at this time. I think about all the things she does (good and not-so-good) and keep going back and forth: yes, she probably does have SPD, and then no, she continues to mature and do better (in routine activities). I just don't know, so I'm going for a second opinion with an OT that hopefully can accommodate our 2-parents-working-schedule come fall since the place I've been going won't be able to go to her school or get her an after school appointment. I also ordered a few books on Amazon to read through that will hopefully shed a little light on SPD so I can make a better decision. It's hard labeling a kid, especially when it's your own. I want to provide her with all the opportunities she needs to be successful; I just want to be making the "right" decisions. Why didn't anyone ever tell me that parenting is hard? LOL
Today I am thankful for:
1. much needed rain
2. playing with Anna this morning. 3 is so much better than 2!!!!!
3. time
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Dyspraxia?
Bryan and I took Anna to her OT evaluation today. We had a very nice OT, Ariane, who played and did activities with Anna while also talking to us. We went to Julie Kraska and Associates near the mall. They have a very nice facility with a big room for swings, tunnels, and mats, as well as small therapy rooms with toys and activities. Anna has a tendency to want to do something, do it for only a few minutes, then say "I'm done." She often quits when things are hard or when she can't get it right away. Ariane said that these behaviors show she might have dyspraxia, a sensory processing disorder that makes it hard for her to plan and complete fine motor tasks. When I look online, I don't feel like she fits a lot of the descriptions for people with dyspraxia, but I'm going to wait until we have our full evaluation meeting to decide. I still think she has sensory seeking behaviors that contribute to making things difficult for her. Some of her behaviors also cross the ADHD lines, but my gut is not leaning towards ADHD. We'll meet with Ariane in a few weeks to determine Anna's OT needs.
I'm ok with it. Assigning a name to some of her behaviors helps me feel like there's a reason some things are so hard for her, not just that I'm a sucky mom that can't control her child. I felt like that for a long time, you know, that I had this kid driving me crazy, and I couldn't help her. Things have gotten easier as she's gotten older, but it's still constant work. My hopes are that with speech, OT, and preschool at LHSC things will start to be easier for her - following directions, having some self control, finishing things she starts, focusing her attention on the task, and playing with friends, us, or by herself.
Today I am thankful for:
I'm ok with it. Assigning a name to some of her behaviors helps me feel like there's a reason some things are so hard for her, not just that I'm a sucky mom that can't control her child. I felt like that for a long time, you know, that I had this kid driving me crazy, and I couldn't help her. Things have gotten easier as she's gotten older, but it's still constant work. My hopes are that with speech, OT, and preschool at LHSC things will start to be easier for her - following directions, having some self control, finishing things she starts, focusing her attention on the task, and playing with friends, us, or by herself.
Today I am thankful for:
- Bryan coming to Anna's appointment
- helpful and kind therapists
- warm weather
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